Exculpatory
by Lololova
Summary: Kate Beckett has a daughter she received at only sixteen, but despite her being a single mom she's managed to become a homicide detective only 9 years later. When Kate meets Richard Castle she doesn't recognize him at first but as he continues to be rather sweet to her and her daughter she can't help finding him becoming a friend.
1. Prologue

She stared down at the two pink lines. Must've stared at them for hours because there were suddenly sounds indicating someone else moving around in the house, and her parents were at work. Well, one of them were obviously home now, but she still couldn't fathom to move from her spot on her bed, still staring at the lines. _What the hell had she done?_ And _how the fuck had she been so stupid?_ She heard steps in the stairs now, knowing who it was immediately. Tears started streaming down her cheeks because... well, because!

"Katie?" her mom opened her door and she couldn't be in herself to look up at her mother.

Not even her mom's gasp, at seeing her tears, made her look up. Her eyes were strained to those to damn pink lines. She didn't even know if her mom saw the object in her hands or not, somewhere deep down she hoped she didn't. But at the same time she wanted her mom so badly to know what's wrong without her having to say anything.

"What's wrong?" her question was concerned, and it didn't take long before her mom was sitting beside her in her bed to wrap her arms around her. "Katie, what's wro..." when her mom's voice died she knew she'd seen the object, and the lines.

She mentally prepared herself for the scolding, thinking her mom would pull away from her as if she was cursed. She didn't want her mom's safe arms to disappear from her, but she prepared her body for it. All she could think about was how her parents would hate her, how they would call her a disgrace to their family. Her mom's next words therefore shocked her to no means.

"Awe Katie, we'll figure this out baby, together. Don't cry, you'll be fine, you'll both be fine."


	2. Chapter one

"I know you want it but we can't afford it," she said with a stern voice, looking down at her daughter.

Kate Beckett had gotten pregnant in her 16th year of life, bringing her daughter into life right before she turned 17. It had been a mistake, of course she hadn't planned on giving birth to a baby before she was even an adult herself, but she loved her precious baby more than anything. She wanted to give her daughter _everything_ , sad part was that since she was a single mother she didn't have that kind of money. Of course she hadn't had to do it all on her own, her parents had been more than generous to help her out whenever she needed to. She didn't want their help, hated feeling like she needed other's help, but it had been essential in the beginning considering she was still determined to finish school. Now, when she was a homicide detective, she did get by with her own salary, but it took forever to save enough money to buy her daughter the things she wanted.

"But mom, just imagine how _great_ it will look next to my bed, glowing in the dark!" Elisabeth pleaded with her puppy eyes looking up at her mom.

Kate had to look away in order to take a deep breath, knowing she would start crying if she didn't compose herself before once again saying no to her own flesh and blood. When her breath was out she looked at her beautiful daughter, who looked just like her with her brown hair and hazel green eyes, cupped her cheeks and said with an apologizing tone,

"We can't afford it hon, I'm sorry, maybe sometime in the future."

Her nine year old looked beat, understanding there was no point in further begging, and Kate was heartbroken that she so often had to say no.

"Come on, peanut, time to go home," Kate said, taking her daughters hand and pushed their cart with food with her other hand.

Kate knew her daughter would soon start pulling her hand away, remembering how she herself started thinking it was awkward holding hands with her mother when she was about her age. That was why she nowadays took every opportunity she could get, holding hands with her baby was much more comforting knowing what she knew as a cop. There was no way she would let anyone take her baby from her, she was determined to keep a close track on her, no matter where they were.

When they were on their way to the bus stop, both one bag each, Kate felt a presence behind her and her cop senses immediately sprung on. When a hand met her shoulder, she dropped her bag and her daughter's hand in order to take the hand and twist it while she spun around and held the stranger in a tight, half-threatening grip.

"Ow ow ow! Apples! Apples! Apples!" the man shrieked in a high pitched voice.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Kate immediately questioned, and she felt Elisabeth tugging her shirt.

"Mom! Let him go, come on!" she groaned, clearly embarrassed by her mother's quick reflexes.

But Kate didn't let go, and she didn't plan on it either until she'd gotten an answer.

"I-I just... wanted to... ow!" the man grunted.

"Mooom," Elisabeth said, irritated because she knew they were getting attention from the people at the bus stop.

"Fine, I'll let you go but if you make one wrong move I will put you out," Kate threatened and after the man nodded his head she let go of his twisted arm.

When he turned around he rubbed his arm gently in order to try and stop the pain from her grip, and Kate couldn't help but wonder if she didn't know this man. He looked so familiar yet she couldn't put her finger on where from. He had brown hair and blue eyes which she could swear she'd drown in if it hadn't been for her cop senses being on high alert. She took a step back to put distance between them, standing beside her dropped bag and making sure her daughter was behind her in case of attack. To her surprise, her daughter even took the extra step herself to put her behind her mother's leg despite how embarrassed she had sounded only minutes ago. The man cleared his throats before he very carefully and slowly, as if not to make Kate think he would do anything, went to grab something in the bag he had managed to hold on to.

"I couldn't help but overhear you in the store, and I couldn't help but want to help out," he said, pulling out a purple light saber from his bag.

It was the exact same one her daughter had, only fifteen minutes earlier, begged for. Kate felt her eyes widen at the shock that was sent down her body. Her mind only half registered her daughter's look up on her face, it wasn't until her daughter started moving away from her leg that she reacted. She quickly pulled her back behind her before she could accept the light saber from this complete stranger.

"Thanks but no thanks," Kate said, grabbing her bag from the ground and taking her daughter firmly by her hand to pull her away from him.

"But mom."

"No."

"Wait!" the man called behind her and she turned her heel quick to give him a look that many had named 'the look', which immediately had him stopping from following them. "Please, I'm not a creep, I just genuinely wanna help."

"We can manage ourselves thank you very much, we're not some charity. If you take one step closer I will break your arm, got it?" she probably overreacted, but she didn't care.

She would do whatever it took to keep her baby safe, even if there was no real danger she wouldn't take the risk. Kate pulled her daughter with her as she resumed their walk to the bus stop, ears alert to be able to pick up the least bit of sound if the man would follow them, and just as they reached the stop so did their bus. It wasn't until the two brunettes were sitting safe in the bus that Kate felt relief as she saw the man still standing in the parking lot, and she wondered once again where the hell she'd seen him before.

* * *

"Wait, say again?" Kevin Ryan said and Kate rolled her eyes.

"A random man did what now?" Javier Esposito added and her daughter did the exact same eye roll, causing her uncles to laugh.

"A man came up, all nice and friendly and then mom just attacked him and wouldn't let me accept the lamp he'd bought me, the exact same one I had said I wanted in the store!" Elisabeth complained and Kate had to force herself not to groan.

Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito were part of Kate's homicide team, and they were like brothers to her. They had all gotten so close that they had asked Elisabeth to call them uncles, stating they were truly like family anyway so why not embrace it? Elisabeth had immediately jumped on board with it, though she did prefer calling them by their last names, just like her mother, but she did introduce them as her uncles to new people.

"You do realize your mom's right though. Right?" Ryan questioned and it was Elisabeth's turn to groan.

"Yeah, what if that guy had tried to kidnap you or anything. Not that he woulda succeeded with your mom being who she is," Esposito added in a tone that somehow made her sound as if she couldn't talk to normal people.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Kate snapped and her partner looked over at her with big eyes.

"Nothin'," he quickly said before returning to his computer.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him, knowing full well he could feel the stare in his neck.

"Beckett? What are you still doing here? Go home," captain Roy Montgomery stuck out his head from his office to look out in the bullpen.

"Sorry sir, my fault, I wanted to talk with the uncles," Elisabeth said with a sweet smile and none of the detectives could stop the outburst of laughter at how quick the captain's 'boss-expression' turned soft.

"Time to go peanut," Kate laughed, her daughter immediately jumping down from her desk in order to accept the jacket Kate held out.

They all said their goodbyes before the two Beckett's took a hold of each other's hand and walked to the elevator.

"Bus or walk?" Kate asked her daughter as they walked out onto the street.

"Walk," she answered immediately and Kate couldn't help the smile from growing.

They both loved walking in parks and, thanks to there being a park between Kate's job and their small apartment, they walked almost every day. The only exceptions were the days Kate's day had involved a lot of chasing bad guys, or sometimes when Elisabeth had had a day out walking long in school.

"Mom, did you find out why he seemed familiar?" Elisabeth asked and Kate could hear a hidden agenda in her voice.

"No, why?" she asked, being careful not to look at her daughter, she's had plenty of experience and knew the likelihood of Elisabeth voicing her thoughts were a higher chance if she didn't stare at her. Probably something to do with it being scarier to confess something when someone's staring at you.

"I just..." she started but was quick to cut it off, "never mind."

 _Damn it_. Kate bit her lower lip and tried again.

"You know you can tell me, right? I won't kiss and tell if you won't." She let her arm slightly push her daughter's shoulder in a playful matter, hoping that would get her to talk. Sneaking a glance she was delighted to see her daughter taking a deep breath, as if preparing to open up.

"I just thought that maybe, _maybe_ , you recognized him because... well, maybe he's my... uhm... d-dad?" she stumbled on her words, and Kate couldn't blame her.

They had talked about this since little Elisabeth had started asking about having a father, where he might be and who he was. Kate felt awful for always giving the same reply.

"I'm sorry peanut, I don't think that's it, he's not your dad and I don't think we will ever meet him," she let go of her daughter's hand in order to put her arm around her shoulders instead, tugging her into the side of her body in a hug.

Kate kissed the top of her daughter's head, that night was one of her biggest regrets. Of course she didn't regret Elisabeth, but she did regret not knowing.


	3. Chapter two

"Lanie!" Kate hissed in horror at her best friend holding up the sexiest thong she'd found.

Kate immediately, as quick as she possibly could, snatched the panties from her friend to put them back where she'd found them.

"Oh come on Kate! You need to get some!" her friend whined.

"Can you just shush! My daughter is right over there," Kate hissed, looking over to Elisabeth who stood not far from them.

Letting go of a relieved breath she saw her daughter hadn't even turned at the antics the medical examiner, who she called her best friend, had caused.

"Relax girl, she ain't listening," Lanie said and Kate caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes. "And I'm dead serious, you need these, if you don't buy them, I will for you," she threatened.

Kate groaned before she gave her best friend an irritated look and left her to go to her daughter.

"Find anything you like peanut?" she asked as she approached her.

"Nope," Elisabeth answered as she let go of the black star dress she'd been eyeing for the past twenty minutes or so.

"You sure?" Kate asked, not quite believing her.

Elisabeth looked up at her with a small fake smile, hummed that she was indeed sure, and looked back at Lanie coming towards them. When Kate followed her eyes she saw Lanie had, despite her irritated look, a plastic bag in her hand and a smirk on her lips.

"What's up Lane?" Elisabeth asked and tried to peek in the shopping bag but before she was able to Lanie pulled it away.

"Nothing interesting, just a couple socks," she answered and when Elisabeth looked away she winked at Kate, who immediately rolled her eyes.

"Come on, let's go check out some books!" Elisabeth said excitedly, pointing to the bookstore across the street.

Her daughter's statement had Kate's lips pulled up in a big smile, she absolutely loved that her infatuation in books had turned up in her offspring's DNA. She excitedly nodded exclaiming a 'yes!' before the two brunettes were off towards the store, Lanie trailing after them yelling how they were such bookworms. As soon as they were in the store the two had big eyes looking around. Sure they'd been there a thousand times, but it still amazed them that there were such a place that held so many books, some of those books of which they would never be able to read. Kate didn't even take notice to her daughter's sudden gasp, just figuring it was a book she'd seen, but her cop senses came to life when her daughter's hand started tugging on hers in a rapid matter.

"Mom, look! That's the guy who bought the lightsaber lamp to me last weekend!" she exclaimed with shock embedded in her voice.

"What, where?!" Kate immediately scanned the area with her eyes and saw, indeed, the stranger stand by one of the bookshelves sorting some books.

It didn't take long for Kate to narrow her eyes and start speculating, fearing the man was stalking them. She searched for a name tag on the man's jacket, in case it could be a coincidence and he was simply working there, but since there were none she had made a decision. Meeting the same guy twice in a week, in as a big city as New York... well, let's just agree the chance of that happening isn't big.

"Lanie, can you take Elisabeth to the kids' books and stay there?" Kate requested, eyes never leaving the man and she heard Lanie agreeing with a sigh.

As soon as she'd gotten her answer Kate was off towards the man, who had not even glanced at them, yet. Maybe he somehow knew Kate had spotted him? Kate tried quickly look around him to see if there were any mirrors in which he could've seen her eyes on him but to her surprise she couldn't see one. She prepared her body for fight, just in case, as she placed herself behind the him.

"Are you stalking us?" she asked and he jumped at her voice being so close to him.

He turned around quickly with eyes wide of horror. The blue softened the second he laid eyes on her and he put his hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture.

"Jeez, you scared the living hell out of me," he breathed, and if Kate didn't know how psychopaths worked she'd say he was truly shocked to see her.

"Answer my damn question," she demanded, her expression telling him she was not kidding.

"About what? Stalking you? Why would I be stalking you? How do I know you're not the one stalking me?" he turned it on her, a small glimpse of amusement in his eyes and she felt a strong urge to twist his arm again, or maybe his ear, that would've worked too.

"And why the hell would I be stalking you?" she bit back, needing to cross her arms in order to not fly onto him.

He rolled his eyes and she nearly lost her temper when he turned away from her towards the books but managed to keep it cool as she saw him picking out a book and turning back to her again. He held up the book with the back of it beside his face and at first she couldn't understand why, but then she looked at it and she felt her eyes widen.

"You're Richard Castle!"

It suddenly dawned on her why his face had looked so familiar. She had read, and loved, every single one of his books! How was this even possible?!

"Well, yes I am. So again, why would I be stalking you?" he asked, clearly amused by this whole situation.

She opened her mouth to answer but couldn't seem to form any words, so she closed it again. Suddenly she felt her cheeks burn and she found herself avoiding his eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbled and was about to walk away from him when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Wait! Uhm... I still have that lamp for your daughter if she wants it," he said, immediately letting go of her arm when she looked at it and she wondered if he'd been afraid she'd twist his arm again at his touch.

"Uh-thanks, but no thanks," she said and was about to leave again when he once again stopped her, this time not by touching her.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't mind, I have the money and to be honest I'd rather have her have it than going back with it to the store," he said, trying to convince her by the look in his eyes.

Kate bit her lip, trying so hard to think but if she was to be honest she was a little nauseous about who he was and how she had not seen it before. He was her favorite author for god's sake! How the hell did she miss that?!

"Kate?! Are you okay? And you stay away mister!" Lanie's voice was the one to bring her back to reality, and she realized she was probably not disguising her sudden nausea that good.

"Yeah Lanie, I'm fine," Kate reassured her best friend who was by her side with Elisabeth right behind her.

"Mom, you look pale, what's wrong?" Elisabeth asked and Kate shook her head.

"Nothing peanut, just uh... realization hitting me. Mr Castle," Kate turned her gaze to the man who really hadn't been following them at all, "if she wants it you can give it to her."

She saw he was kind of surprised by her statement but the smile setting on his lips were pure.

"Do you still want that light saber lamp?" he asked her daughter who immediately eyed her carefully.

Elisabeth's eyes were asking permission, searching in her eyes to see if this was a test of any kind.

"It's okay peanut, this is Richard Castle, he's the..."

"Oh my god! You're Richard Castle?! The Richard Castle?! The Derrick Storm novels Richard Castle?!" her daughter's exclamation had him chuckling and Kate shared a look with Lanie who suddenly seemed to understand why Kate had been so pale. God she wished she could wipe that smirk off of her friend's face.

"Yes, I am. And I'm sorry if you thought I was stalking you and your mom, I was simply trying to be kind last time," Rick said, shrugging his shoulders. "Oh, and right now I was just sorting my books here, they didn't do a great job placing them in order," he only muttered the last part.

"Can I get your autograph?" Elisabeth immediately asked and Kate hissed her name in warning.

"Well, of course! Do you have anything I can sign or should we go get the lamp and I'll sign that one?" he asked and Kate was surprised at the kindness of this man.

She remembered vaguely reading a lot of things about him in the papers, how he was a playboy and such. But now she kept wondering how much of that were true, no one would go through this kind of lengths just to sleep with another woman, would they? Besides she wasn't even one a famous guy like him would consider so he couldn't be that bad of a playboy then, right?

"Mom, can't we buy the latest Storm book now? I know you said we had to wait another month but please?" Elisabeth pleaded and Kate was about to answer when Rick beat her to it.

"I can buy it, I don't mind, and if you want you can have one each," he said and Kate felt her shock deepen.

Why was he so generous? And why did she feel so giddyish?!

"Uhm, no, I-ugh, we can buy them ourselves, I don't want your money," she said, and this time it was Elisabeth's turn to hiss.

"Mom, don't be rude," she muttered under her breath and Kate bit her lower lip.

"I'm sorry... I don't mean to be rude, I just..." she started but he held up a hand to cut her off.

"Don't worry about it, but I do insist on buying the copies though," he said and before she could say anything more he turned around, grabbed two copies of his latest novel and walked over to the cashier.

"Mom, are you okay?" Elisabeth whispered, taking her hand to intertwine their fingers like she had done since she was a little girl.

"Oh, I think your mom is a bit starstruck," Lanie mocked and Kate gave her a narrowed look.

"I am not."

"You like him," Elisabeth said with realization in her voice and Kate glared at her daughter.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kate grunted before she walked to meet Rick on his way back to them.

"I got a pen in my car, along with the lamp, so if you're done shopping I can lead you to it and if not then I can go get it and come back," he told her and her two companions joined them.

"How about we go get the lamp and then you join us for some coffee? I'm sure we all would enjoy your company," Lanie said and Kate turned to her with wide eyes.

Is she out of her damn mind?! Kate wanted to grab her best friend and drag her away from there. What the hell was she thinking?!

"Actually, considering my mother and daughter will roam this mall for at least another hour and they want nothing to do with my opinions on clothing, I would love to," Rick said and Elisabeth let go of an excited scream.

Oh no.


	4. Chapter three

"You said you had a daughter? How old is she?" Lanie asked the famous writer and _god could she just shut up already?_

Kate felt so embarrassed by all of this. Her best friend was giving her looks when her nine year old was too distracted talking to both Beckett's favorite author, and Kate _knew_ what those looks meant. Lanie had done this a _thousands_ times before, trying to get Kate into dating guys they met during their shopping rounds. The worst part was that Lanie knew how big of a crush she had on the author at one point. Which _really_ was _confusing_ considering she hadn't known who the guy was when she first saw him the previous weekend. _How had she not recognized him as her favorite author?!_

"Yeah, Alexis, she's fifteen now but sometimes I swear she's the adult of the two of us. Well, three including my mother," Rick answered and for some reason Kate could definitely see that.

"What do you mean she's more adult?" Elisabeth asked and _when did she become so brave?_

A voice in the back of her head said it was most probably a result of her own DNA in the girl's bloodstream. Rick chuckled and his face turned a bit pink, and _why couldn't she stop the thought that said he looked adorable?_

"Well, I might be the one who insists to keep playing laser tag," he shrugged his shoulders despite the blush.

"That is _so cool_! Mom has let me go to the shooting range a couple times and..."

"Woah! Secret!" Kate hissed to cut off her daughter along with a stare.

Elisabeth clenched her lips together with wide eyes, making the busted look she made whenever Kate caught her doing something she shouldn't. It took about a second before her daughter's lips turned up in a grin, showing all her perfect teeth along with her puppy eyes.

"I promise not to kiss and tell," Rick immediately came to the girl's rescue and Kate turned her narrowed eyes to him.

As soon as their eyes met he looked away, down in the coffee mug he still had coffee in.

"Girl, how did you manage to sneak her into the shooting range?" Lanie asked with a smirk.

Kate turned to her best friend. "It wasn't even that hard, do _not_ tell Montgomery." Then she turned to her daughter, "I _told_ you not to tell anyone Elisabeth, you know better than that."

Elisabeth turned her head down, "Sorry mom. But it's just so cool, I'm gonna be a good cop just like you, chasing bad guys and bringing justice to the victims," she said and Kate bit her lower lip.

She knew her daughter well enough, she knew she was just trying to get away from a punishment by smoothing her with flutter.

"You're a cop?" Rick suddenly asked and her attention went to the writer instead. "I mean," he gulped and there was something sparkling in his eyes, curiosity? "That's why you knew how to twist my arm like that! Can you teach me?"

Kate rolled her eyes at the excitement his whole body shone of.

"Yeah, she's a homicide detective! She solves murders every day and put bad guys to prison!" Elisabeth said with a big smile, all of her guilt suddenly gone and replaced with the same kind of excitement the writer was showing.

"Really?"

"Yes! Last crime scene was..."

" _Elisabeth Johanna Houghton Beckett_ don't you _dare_ say another word," Kate immediately ordered with a glare and her finger pointing at her daughter.

She could see Rick staring at her with wide eyes while her daughter just stared back at her with an almost identical glare. At least there was no way people would think they were anything but mother and daughter.

"Liz, I thought you told me you knew the rules," Lanie cut in and broke the staring contest between the two Beckett's.

"I do. Mom taught me," the girl answered and smiled proudly.

"Maybe you should remember them," Kate narrowed her eyes further and her daughter put her head in her hands.

"But it's Richard _freaking_ Castle mom, it's not like we will ever meet him again. _And_ he's not gonna tell," Elisabeth argued with a groan, making Rick chuckle.

Before Kate could say anything more Lanie opened her mouth and suggested her and Elisabeth should go check out that dress she'd been eyeing before. Kate gave her best friend a confused look to which her only answer was a smirk and a wink. As if her daughter had somehow picked up on the plan she was quick on her feet to kiss Kate's cheek before both her and Lanie ran off towards the store they had been in earlier that day.

"Wha..." Kate looked after them before she swallowed a groan. She would _kill_ her. Some beautiful day she would _kill_ her and have her daughter help her hide the body.

Rick cleared his throat and _oh, had he said something?_

"Sorry, what?" she said and Rick tilted his head a little while observing her.

"You taught your daughter how to shoot?" he asked with that same curiosity from before shining in his eyes.

"Uhm, no," she answered stern.

"Would you teach me?" he challenged and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"No." He pouted with his lips and she took a sip of her now cold coffee. _Damn, why didn't she finish the cup before?_ "If you ever tell anyone she's been to a gun range for other than just watching I'll shoot you," she threatened and for some reason he chuckled.

"Why detective, is that a threat?" his lips turned upwards in a smug smile.

For some reason her heart skipped a beat at that and she bit the inside of her cheek in order to not let it show. "No, just a friendly warning," she shrugged her shoulders and he shook his head with a smile.

"Sure, I'll do that, _if_ you let me interview you," he demanded, and when she rose her eyebrow he added, "for research." She shook her head. No way. There was no way he would be able to get her to answer any of his questions. "Okay then, what was the name of your captain again? Montgomery?" he said casually and she cursed under her breath, glad her daughter wasn't there.

"Fine," she gave in and his whole face broke up in a grin.

* * *

"Time for bed peanut, to brush your teeth," Kate said later that night, seeing her daughter walk down the hall to their bathroom without complaint.

Her feet were dragging after her and Kate let the small laugh slip her lips, her daughter was adorable when she was sleepy and exhausted. Only a few minutes after Kate had agreed to let the author interview her both Lanie and Elisabeth had gotten back with another plastic bag and Kate had narrowed her eyes at Lanie who had only shrugged her shoulders with a big smile. Kate couldn't thank her best friend enough no matter how irritated she was with her though. She was the best aunt she could ask for for her daughter. She could be a pain in her ass, especially when it came to the question involving dating but, she was still only doing what she thought was best for both her and her daughter.

"Mom?" Elisabeth called from the bathroom with toothpaste in her mouth.

"Mhmm?" Kate hummed, walking to stand in the door opening to the bathroom, giving her daughter all her attention.

"Will you meet him again?" she asked with her mouth full, avoiding Kate's eyes.

Kate wrinkled her forehead, wondering what her daughter had seen and why she had voiced such a question. "I don't know peanut, why?"

"I saw he wrote his number in one of the books, and I'm pretty sure that wasn't for me," her daughter revealed and Kate felt her eyes widen. "Plus, Lane said something about how you were so starstruck on him before," Elisabeth smirked and _yes_ , she would _most definitely_ kill her.

Sighing, Kate went to put toothpaste on her own brush in order to get ready for bed. "He wants an interview with a homicide detective for research, he asked me if I would do it and for some stupid reason I agreed."

"Not stupid, considering we kind of owe him," Elisabeth said before spitting out the toothpaste.

Her daughter was kind of right, and she hated owing people. Which was why she tried to do everything on her own, never loaning money from anyone except from perhaps her father.

"I will only meet him once, and I promise I won't give him our address," Kate swore, though she wasn't sure who she was making the promise to, her daughter or herself.

Her daughter let go of a chuckle and Kate met her eyes in the mirror. "Mom, he's not gonna hurt me if that's what you're afraid of, he got me the freaking saber lamp!" Elisabeth exclaimed with her eyes widened with admiration.

"I know, he wouldn't get close to you even if he tried," Kate teased, bumping her hip into her daughter's.

Elisabeth laughed at that, "No, you'd shoot him before." Kate ruffled her hair before she spit out the toothpaste as well, reaching for the makeup remover. "I'm going to bed, you coming soon? Can you read Derrick Storm before I fall asleep?"

Kate smiled nodding in agreement. "Yes, and don't you dare sneak any peek before I get there young lady," she threatened and her daughter only narrowed her eyes with a smirk.

"I won't promise anything of the sort," she mocked before she ran to their bedroom.

Kate only shook her head in amusement, turning to the mirror in order to remove her makeup. Her daughter wouldn't look in the book before she got there, she knew that because her daughter had never wanted for any of them to get ahead of the other. She finished up as quick as she could in order to join her babygirl in the bed they both shared. They curled together as they usually did, Elisabeth laying with her head on Kate's shoulder with Kate's arm around her, and the book in front of them. It didn't take too long before Kate's smooth voice had soothed the girl to sleep with the help of his words. Putting away the book she carefully snuggled the two of them under the cover, kissed her daughter's head before turning off the lights and fall into a deep slumber.

* * *

 ** _Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to follow me on twitter for sneak peek and updates when/if I post, my account name is LololovaX_**

 ** _Love you all and thanks for reading!_**


	5. Chapter four

Kate had waited a few days before she actually decided to contact the author again. And if she was honest it hadn't even been her decision since she found her daughter writing a text message on her phone to their favorite writer. Kate had managed to yank her phone from her girl's fingers before she hit send, _thank god_. But then Elisabeth had talked her into contacting him about the interview, saying something about her being stupid if she didn't let their _favorite_ author interview her.

 _"Mooom, what if he uses it in a book? Or, are you afraid? Why don't you ever go out with anyone apart from my uncles?"_

Elisabeth had mocked her until she had agreed to send a message and leave it to Richard Castle if he still wanted the interview. Kate had been surprised to get an immediate response from the author, he had first asked if they could do the interview over lunch but Kate had declined that. There was no way she would send mixed signals to him, this was strictly the interview for her, she didn't want him to think she was accepting anything that could be considered a date. Not that she even thought he would be interested in her.

"Hey!" his voice startled her and she cursed herself for the smirk he was giving her, having seen the jerk her body made.

"Gosh, Castle," she glared at him and he sat down in the seat opposite the table.

"Castle?" he questioned and she fought the urge to bite her lip.

"Work habit," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Seriously? Like in what way? You call everyone by their last names?" he asked and she widened her eyes when he pulled out a notebook, scribbling something down in an instant.

"Wait, you're... you're taking notes?" she asked confused, his eyes shooting up to hers in a second.

"Of course! My memory is not the best, yours is probably a hell of a lot better considering you have to remember details for your cases... or do you have a small notebook you keep details in?"

"Uh, I do, but mostly so it's for sure I don't miss anything," Kate revealed and he scribbled something more.

"Can I see it?" His question made her narrow her eyes at him with irritation. "Okay, then," he held up his hands with his palms out in a surrender. "Do you want coffee?"

"No. Just ask your questions and get this over with," she said, trying to keep all this as neutral as possible.

He was her favorite writer and that smile was startling butterflies in her belly that she had no idea she had there. It felt as though her insides were freaking out! But there was _no way_ she would let him see. He'd seen enough of screaming fans and she would _not_ be one of them. She _was_ not one of them. Castle's expression was definitely telling her he was not expecting her being so... disinterested. She felt her cheeks get warmer and she had to look down at the table to keep in the sudden urge of a giggle.

"But, we're meeting _here_ , in a _coffee_ shop... _for coffee_." His statement was filled with the obvious confusion and sense of a 'duh' without really mentioning it.

"Well... yeah, but that's just because... because I-uh didn't want lunch," she bit her inner cheek.

He gave her a surprised look, almost offended. "You didn't want to have lunch or you didn't want to have lunch _with me_?"

 _Fuck_. How does she answer that? Especially when her eyes met his blue ones and she could swear she saw a small hurt deep down in them.

"Lunch," she muttered. And honestly it wasn't truly a lie either. Kate _did_ skip lunch that day, like she did a few more days than she should, in order to work the case they'd caught.

"Wait," he suddenly got a concerned tone in his voice, _why?_ "You haven't eaten lunch today?!" he exclaimed in a hushed matter, probably reminding himself they were in a coffee shop after all.

"No, I'm not hungry," Kate defended herself.

He got a thoughtful expression before something determined fell over him and Kate feared what was about to come out of his mouth. "Okay, if you don't tell me what kind of coffee you like _and_ what you want with it I'm buying every single type of coffee and whatever there is to eat for you," he threatened and Kate felt like her eyes were going to pop out at the shock. "You know I have the money so don't doubt I'll do it."

His threats had her giving him the look she'd only given the boys, Lanie and her daughter before. To her shock he responded by a smug smile and a raised eyebrow, something she was not often met with, and it kind of scared her somehow. After the short set of a staring contest she gave up, telling him 'fine' and revealing her favorite order. A grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla and a bear claw. While he went to place their order she tried to gather herself. She would _not_ let herself freak out once, she would not be anything but professional, he just wanted a homicide detective's perspective on things in order to... _what did_ he need it for? Hadn't he said research? But research for what?

"Here you go," he said as he came back, putting down a tray with their coffees and bear claws on the table.

She grabbed her coffee and immediately brought it to her lips, the smell suddenly making her eyes fall shut and a moan escape her lips, she hadn't gotten her coffee during the whole day and she had missed her personal heaven. She took a small sip with a humming sound.

"That good?"

In an instant she felt a deep blush enter her cheeks with embarrassment and her eyes popped open to see him observing her from his seat across the table. She quickly decided not to give into his curiosity. "So, what about those questions? How many are there?"

"Uh, well, I... they're pretty much endless but uh, how long do I have you?" he asked back, checking his clock.

Kate looked down at her own. "I have about two hours before I have to pick up Elisabeth, my captain told me to take the rest of the day off since we just closed a tough case."

"Really?" his tone indicated his interest spiked. "How tough? When did the body drop? How long did it take for you to find the killer? How _did_ you find the killer?" His questions had her eyes widening.

Never had anyone had this much interest in what she was doing for a living, especially not men she'd been seeing once or twice. The only one invested in her cases beside her coworkers was her daughter, and she did _try_ not to let her daughter into too much of it. "Okay, slow your horses," Kate interrupted his hundred questions, holding up a hand to silence him. "Do you want answers or do you just want to keep asking the questions?" she teased and he immediately replied 'answers' before he pretended to zip his mouth shut in order to give her opportunity to start. And so she did. She didn't tell any of the things that could jeopardize the case but she surprised herself by telling him everything she could. She had never shared a case with an outsider before, one that wasn't of her own flesh and blood that is, but she felt strangely at ease with telling him, which she had never felt before. One of her past boyfriends had asked about her cases sometimes and she had never really given him anything at all.

While she was telling him about her case, how she had stayed later than usual the evening before in order to try and solve it, leaving Elisabeth to be looked after by her father, he kept writing down notes in his little notebook. She wondered how much this could even help whatever cause he had but it felt good having someone to talk to. Weird.

"Does that happen often?" he suddenly asked with a sincere voice and she raised her eyebrow, silently asking what he was reacting to. "Your daughter, Elisabeth, being alone with your father as her babysitter?"

She got a lump in her stomach in an instant. Her defenses immediately coming up, her body tensed and she felt the walls that usually were built high around her heart come back up from somehow being down for the past half hour. She had no idea how they had been down but she could _very_ clearly feel them back up now. "That's none of your business."

His hands shot up in surrender, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I... sorry." His blue eyes were shimmering with instant regret, making her heart stumble a beat, and he sucked in a deep breath. "Change of subject, how come you became a cop? Usually a woman like you wouldn't be in law enforcement as a cop," he squinted his eyes in curiosity, "maybe as a lawyer, but not a cop."

She just stared at him with wide eyes, how could he already have figured out what her original study had been. Biting the insides of her inner cheek she considered just walking out on him, but then again he had made her feel so carefree just minutes earlier! Why did he have to ruin it?

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I should stick to the non-personal questions," Castle looked down at his hands in what looked like shame and only a minute later he started going through his notes, probably searching for a new question he could ask. "When you hit a dead end in a case, what is your go-to technique to find new evidence?"

Kate had to take a minute to collect herself by taking a deep breath before she answered truthfully. "I mostly sit down and look over everything we have, see if there's something new that pops out. Sometimes I take it home with me and look it over in between helping Elisabeth with her homework." She decided not to mention how she also showed it to her daughter at times, because even though she was only nine she did have a new set of eyes on the whole case and sometimes she asked questions Kate hadn't thought of yet.

He wrote something in his notebook again and she took another bite of her bear claw, which she hadn't really gotten to in the last half hour due to all the talking. She couldn't remember the last time she had talked so much to someone other than her daughter or her coworkers.

"Does your partner often take the case home too or..."

"I don't have a partner," she caught him off immediately, actually wondering where the hell he got the impression she even had a partner.

He flinched a little at the strength in her voice and she could definitely read the surprise he felt in his blue eyes. _He actually had pretty beautiful blue_... she caught off her own thought before it could finish.

"You don't? Don't every detective have a partner? Or haven't you gotten one yet? Did your last partner get transferred? Or fired? Or maybe..." Kate couldn't deny she was _amazed_ by this man's curiosity and how easily he seemed to come up with more and more questions.

This time she didn't cut him off but simply waited for him to realize he needed to stop asking if he wanted her to answer. She couldn't prevent the giggle coming up her throat when he, very determined, 'zipped' his mouth again and gesturing her to continue. The reaction brought out a smile on his face and she felt her cheeks get warm again.

"I don't have a partner because I work better alone, plus I got my team to have my back. Esposito and Ryan have always had my back and since Montgomery, our captain, knows how great we work together he's not tried adding an outsider after what happened with the first one." He opened his mouth but she already knew what he was going to ask so she beat him to it. "He didn't fit in our group, we tried taking him in and get him to be a part of our team but it never clicked. Besides he kind of looked down on me, always saying how since I was a girl I couldn't protect him if we ever got in a heated situation. Of course he never said such things in front of Montgomery, but both me and the boys got sick of it and so we told him either he cut it off or we'd tell on him." She shrugged her shoulders but his eyes narrowed and she bit her lower lip. " _And_ we ended up sparring against each other, Espo's idea to make him understand I was a lot stronger than he thought and could easily take him. I-uh... I broke his arm, and after that Montgomery agreed to let me work alone."

His eyes popped wide open and her cheeks were _burning_. "You took him out?" his tone was shocked but definitely intrigued. "Can you teach me?!" he was pretty much jumping up and down in his seat and Kate chuckled at the childish energy that was currently emitting from him.

"How to break someone's arm?" she questioned and he shook his head.

"Nooo," he said with a mocking tone, "how to spar! _And_ I would love to go to the shooting range." He smirked and she narrowed her eyes at him. For some reason she wanted to say yes. She wanted to kick his ass only to be able to mock him for it, she wanted to teach him some of her tricks, see how much research he had done on shooting a gun before his mystery novels. The question was if it was really a good idea. She had a feeling she could open up to him in a way she shouldn't, but then again, what did she have to loose?

"Okay, fine."


	6. Chapter five

"Soooo?" Elisabeth dragged out the word as she kept nudging her mother with her shoulder.

"What?" Kate questioned with a clueless tone, nudging her daughter back while looking over her daughter's homework.

"Come on mom! How'd it go?!" her daughter asked impatiently.

"How did what go?" Kate pretended to not know what she was talking about, reading the words her daughter had to know how to spell the next day at school.

"Moooom!"

"Okay, okay," Kate chuckled putting an arm around her daughter in order to pull her in and kissing her head. "It was actually pretty fine, he asked a bunch of questions and I told him all about how it is to be a detective."

Elisabeth looked up at her with a grin plastered on her small, adorable face. "Do you like him?"

Oh, so she was thinking in _that_ direction! Kate felt a bit shocked, her daughter was sure sneaky!

"No, of course not. I mean, he's still my favorite writer but I'm only helping him with his research."

"But, it could be more," her daughter said in a dreamy tone to which Kate raised her eyebrows. "Becky's mom met a guy and Becky said he moved in with them and now she's calling him dad."

Kate felt her chest tighten at that. She knew it was hard on her daughter not to have a father, it had been a tough time for her learning that Kate didn't even knew who he was. Of course Kate hadn't told her daughter about the night, wasn't much to tell, but it definitely was PG-18. And stuff she would _never_ let her daughter hear. The only one who had heard the whole story was her own mother, who probably told her father but point was she had never uttered the story for anyone else.

"Oh, no peanut, it's not..." Kate sighed, "Richard Castle is just doing research for his books, and I... I'm not ready to date." _And she never would be_.

"Why not?" her innocent voice made it _that_ much harder to think of a good enough answer.

 _Why wouldn't she be ready?_ Well, for starters, she had scars. Scars deeper than she would want to ever share with anyone else. Second, she was happy the way it was. It was just her and her daughter and she couldn't ask for anything better, it was peaceful and wonderful, just the two of them. It meant she could lay all her attention on her little peanut. Plus, she _had_ _tried_ dating, when Elisabeth was younger, and it hadn't felt right _or_ good. Sure, Lanie was onto her all the time, saying she needed to get out there again, but she truly didn't. _So_ , there were _many_ reasons. But she wasn't sure which would be good enough for her daughter to hear, wasn't sure _any_ of the reasons even _should_ be heard by the little girl.

"I don't know peanut, it's just the way it feels, okay?" she said in a careful voice, kissing her daughter's head again before she turned back to the homework. "Now, this is not really how you spell 'beautiful'."

* * *

Richard Castle was enchanted. He couldn't stop writing once he got home after the interview. Word after word just poured out of him and into the laptop he'd thought wouldn't get another word out of him again. But now... _now_ he couldn't stop. He was writing none stop, about her. Or, not about _her_ her, but an altered version of her. A version his mind cooked up based on the words that had left her lips earlier that day, the stories she told about herself and her cases. She'd mostly been objective, never telling him anything too personal but he had noticed things, small things, that gave him a few clues. The way she reacted when he had asked her what made her want to become a cop told him something really _did_ happen that changed her course of plan. She had mentioned her father had looked after her daughter, which made him wonder where her mother was. Because he definitely knew how his own mother was and somehow he doubted Kate's would just leave her alone when she needed her. In his version, her mother had passed and he wasn't sure how or when but he had already made out a plan for how to write this part into Nikki's story. _Nikki Heat_ , that was the name his mind had given the new character based on her.

"Dad?!"

Castle jerked at the sudden yell from his daughter and immediately looked up from his screen. "What?" he said in a shocked voice.

"Soo," she crossed her arms with a smirk pulling at her lips, "writing again I see."

"I-yes," he nodded as she observed him before a grin shone on her face and she uncrossed he arms while striding over with a small excitement in her eyes. His fifteen year old daughter walked around his desk in order to place herself behind him and read over his shoulder. Without a word he scrolled up the pages on his screen, letting her read the first page in silence.

"Nikki Heat? Homicide detective? Is this about that detective you met to interview? Kate... Beckett was it?" Alexis asked and he nodded.

"Yes, detective Kate Beckett, can you imagine she has a daughter but still has the highest closing rate in New York? She makes sure to mix both work and spending time with her daughter, she even let's her daughter help her with the cases!"

Alexis chuckled and he turned his head to look at his red headed girl. She looked so amused by his newfound inspiration. "Careful dad, you almost sound smitten," she teased and he grunted.

"Am not. I'm just... curious," he said as he thought about the woman he'd seen only hours earlier. The way she'd smiled at some of his questions had made him feel his heart skip a bit.

"Sure you are," Alexis interrupted his thoughts. "That's why you're basing a character on her." Before he could argue she added, "Don't worry dad, your secret's safe with me." She kissed his cheek and walked towards the door while he looked after her with narrowed eyes.

 _He was_ not _smitten!_ Yes, she was beautiful and yes he was interested in her story, but that didn't mean he was smitten! Did it? _No_.

"Oh, and dad, I've ordered takeout, figured we could both use some food and it's too late for you to cook something up," she said with a sincere tone.

He felt his heart swell, his daughter was always so thoughtful. "I'm sorry pumpkin, I totally forgot the time."

She smiled happily and shrugged her shoulders, "Don't worry about it, at least you're writing again."

She left his office and he wondered how the hell she turned out so good as he made himself comfortable to once again let his fingers dance across the keyboard.

* * *

"Wooo!" Castle let go of a small yell when she once again tripped him down to the floor.

The chuckle escaping her was not meant to get out but the way he kept goofing around and pouting at her every time she put him down was kind of cute. It had gone a week and a half since they last saw each other and she, after his constant texts, agreed to teach him a few things about sparring. Now, she'd had the time of her life for the past hour while teaching and sparring her favorite author. To her surprise he had known a bit more than he had led on in the beginning, almost overpowering her, good thing she was trained or he might've actually gotten her down on the ground. She hadn't felt this worked out since... the academy perhaps, she longed for a shower to let the water wash away the sweat sticking to her body. If it wasn't for the sweat she could see glistening on _his_ skin she would've felt icky.

"You really need to work on your balance," she panted out the statement she'd voiced at least five times.

"Yeah yeah," he grunted and she reached out her hand for him to take.

As their hands touched she felt a small shock go through her veins and she gasped when he caught her off guard by pulling her down towards him. Somehow he managed to turn them around and pin her hands to the floor beside her head, wearing a wide open-mouthed grin on his face as he looked down at her, straddling her body.

"So do you," he returned and she knew her jaw was slightly dropped, eyes wide, but the shock she was feeling was too great for her to be able to hide it.

He was dangerously close. Her nose was filled with the scent of him, her whole body heating up by the touch of him. They hadn't been this close before, she'd not once pinned him down or anything like it during their sparring, had been satisfied enough by tripping him down, and this... _this was too close_! She immediately tried to fight him off, the intensity and sudden eagerness to get free seeming to get caught by him and she could feel him give in as she pushed him off of her. She sat up, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down. _What the hell just happened?_ She put one of her hands over her face, trying to collect her thoughts. _Did she seriously just feel panic run through her veins?_

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Are you ok?" Castle was checking her in a second, carefully looking at her head, his fingers gently running through her hair in order to check for injuries.

Kate clenched her eyes shut, tried to focus on her breathing, and the tingling feeling his hands were shooting down the bottom of her hair. After a few seconds of simply breathing she bit her lip and said, "I'm fine, I'm fine. You didn't hurt me." She felt his fingers leave her scalp and _god she wished they'd stayed there_.

"Are you sure?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

She nodded and opened her eyes to meet his observing blues. "I'm sure. You just took me off guard," she lied.

The blues staring back at her had a glimpse of disbelief in them, he didn't believe her words, but his mouth only opened to utter out an 'ok', not pushing her in any way. _Odd_. They had only known each other for about two weeks, but she somehow already knew it wasn't like him to not ask more questions. Kate looked away from him, couldn't look into those oceans of eyes any longer without risking to tell the truth. That's another things she'd noticed about him, he was great at pulling out whatever she had decided on _not_ telling.

She took another deep breath before she planted on a teasing smile. "Lesson is over and your homework is working on your balance," she looked at him just in time to see his eyes roll with a grin tugging at his lips.

"That means there'll be a next time then," he stated and there was an excited glimpse in his eyes.

Kate's cheeks turned red and he couldn't stop staring at her, she was beautiful no matter how sweaty she got. He had never thought anyone could look so good at all times, he swore he could find her beautiful even in her worst state. She was sitting within his grasp and he had to contain himself from extending his arm to touch her again. He had no idea what had been wrong, what he'd done to upset her, but he was certain she had liked his fingers in her hair as much as he had.

"Yeah well," she said and bit her lip, sending a wave of heat down his body, "I guess we'll have to wait and see."

She raised up and he was immediately right after her up on his feet. As they walked towards their stuffs Castle realized he didn't want to part from his new muse yet, didn't want to leave her and just go home, and so he took a small breath of courage to give voice to his suggestion.

"How about we go for a coffee? You know, shower in the locker rooms of course and then meet outside once we're done?"

Kate stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at him with surprise hidden in her eyes. He held his breath in the wait of her answer, hoping she would say yes.


	7. Chapter six

Kate was surprised, but yet not, that Castle suggested they'd go for a coffee. She had thought about it for a few seconds before agreeing. Normally she would never let anyone get so close to her in so little time, especially not a man, and it kind of scared her how much she already felt comfortable with him. They'd had coffee twice since they first texted about the interview and they had either texted or talked every day and she had grown to anticipate the daily text each evening. Elisabeth didn't know, had no idea Kate was texting with their favorite author. To not withhold too many things from her daughter though she _did_ tell her about their meetings, said it was strictly the writer doing research for a new book because technically it wasn't completely a lie.

"So, does Elisabeth like the lamp? I've forgotten to ask you each time," Castle asked as they sat down with a coffee each at the booth they'd practically claimed as _theirs_ even though they had only sat there the two previous times.

Kate took a sip of her coffee, feeling the hot liquid burn her tongue since she'd been too quick. "Oh, yeah, she loves it," she replied before biting her lip and looking up at him. "I'm sorry about that first time, in the parking lot, but in my defense I haven't exactly had the best experience and I never want my daughter to feel threatened in any way."

She'd given away too much, she could see that by the curious look he got, but she felt like she needed to let him know at least that much. There was no way she'd tell him her whole story, but at least he now knew she had somewhat trust issues. _Somewhat?_ a low voice whispered in her mind.

"What kind of experience?" he asked and she shook her head, never needing to utter the words because he somehow read her so well, immediately changing subject. "And what do you think of my book? You gotten to it yet?"

Kate felt her lips pull at the thought of his book, the book they'd been reading every night since he bought and signed it for them only a couple weeks earlier. "We've... started, and we definitely enjoy it, both of us," she said with a blush entering her cheeks, "thanks for buying it and I promise to pay you back."

Castle just shook his head while waving his hand in disagreement. "No, no those are on me. I won't accept money from you so push that thought out of your mind. As you know money is absolutely no problem for me," he insisted with a determined tone.

"I know but..."

"No buts Kate, I know you care about money, _I_ don't, I got enough so why not spend it on my friends?" he cut her off before she could say anything more about how unfair it would be if she took advantage of his wealthy... friendship?

Was that what they were? Friends? Kate hadn't even thought about that, hadn't given a thought as to what they were. She'd just assumed he only wanted to meet up in order to get inspiration and insights for his new book. But then again they weren't exactly being strict on keeping the talking to the job, not really, not anymore.

"Okay, fine, but next coffee is on me," Kate insisted.

He huffed but shrugged his shoulders, giving in to let her have some peace in her mind. "Sure, soo," he dragged out the word carefully before his lips turned up into a smirk. "How about next time you take me to the shooting range and show me how to handle a gun." His eyebrows wiggled and Kate chuckled at the childish excitement his whole being shone with.

"There's _no_ way I'm letting you into the shooting range," she said for the hundredth of time.

"Yet, you also said you wouldn't have a sparring session with me and what did we do earlier exactly?" he asked with a thoughtful finger to his chin.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Yes, but this one I mean. If my captain would find out I'd be suspended."

"Well, that would give you more time to meet up," Castle said and Kate reached past the table in order to slap his bicep. "Ow!" he yelped out, immediately rubbing the sore spot.

"Baby."

Kate picked up her cup and sipped on her coffee with a raised eyebrow, hiding her smirk behind the cup she was drinking from.

* * *

"Mom!"

Kate immediately turned to her daughter running in through the door, the door slamming behind her. _Okay, she's mad._ She couldn't figure out why though.

"What's wrong peanut?" she tried her best to sound as calm and soothe as possible.

Her daughter stomped towards her with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Kate let go of the pen she'd used to scribble her theories in the notepad she had beside the case files of the new case they'd caught a couple hours earlier, only an hour after her and Castle had bought coffee.

" _When_ were you planning on telling me you _dated_ Brian's dad?!" Elisabeth questioned with that same tone Kate used to interrogate suspects.

"Who?" Kate widened her eyes in shock because, _who was Brian again_?

"Brian? Brian Sorenson?" _Oh._

Kate put her head in her hands and sighed. "Hon, that was a _long_ time ago. We were _kids_."

Elisabeth was fuming. "Brian's dad told _him_! Why couldn't _you_ tell me?! I thought we didn't have secrets!"

Kate looked at her daughter with a wrinkled forehead. _Why was she reacting this way?_ "It's not exactly a secret Liz, yes, me and Will dated... but it was," she shrugged her shoulders while she tried to think of the right words," _nothing_ special _at all_."

"So he's not..." Elisabeth stopped herself and now Kate stood straighter with peeked interest, "forget it."

Her daughter started to walk away and Kate was quick to follow. "He's not what? Liz, talk to me," she grabbed her daughter's arm to stop her from walking away from her. She felt her daughter crumble a bit, trying to get away from her mother but she carefully turned her around in order to look into the mirrors of her own hazels.

Elisabeth took a deep breath before her eyes darted down, avoiding her mother's. "He's not my dad?"

Letting go of her daughter's arm Kate stumbled backwards at the words coming out of her peanut's mouth. She thought... " _What_? No! God no! What the _hell_ makes you think that?" Kate exclaimed as she pursed her lips in disgust.

This time the young girl let go of a relieved sigh and Kate shook her head as she tried to compose what she had just heard. Her daughter thought _Will Sorenson_ was her father? That was... _god no_. She might not know who was but _him_? Him she was sure of _not_ being the guy who she'd been with at that stupid party.

"Weell," Elisabeth dragged out the word and Kate could tell she was hesitant as to tell her what she was thinking.

She waited but after a minute of her daughter not talking she opened her mouth and put on a small smile. "Okay, how about we order some Chinese and you'll tell me over dinner?" she suggested to which her daughter nodded with a bright smile. Together they walked back into the kitchen where Kate put away her case files as her daughter brought out the list of food along with Kate's phone in order for them to order. When their eyes met again Kate was confused to see Elisabeth carrying a grin on her lips but decided not to ask about it as they both leaned over the counter to choose what food they wanted. Once they had chosen Kate made the call while Elisabeth went to sit in the couch and work on her homework in the wait. As her daughter was occupied with her homework Kate took that time answering the text she saw she'd missed Castle had sent earlier. He'd probably sent it as she was reviewing her case or something like that.

 _*_ _Hey, you free tomorrow? Maybe you could meet me at the gym and tell me what machines I should use to work on my balance? Or we could just grab a coffee? RC_ _*_

She wasn't surprised by his text, not by his suggestion into meeting up either, but she couldn't help but wonder why he, pretty much, every day asked if she wanted to meet up. As if they hadn't met for years when in reality they had met about once a week for the past few weeks. Since they hadn't really known each other for long Kate thought once a week would have to be a new record for her to keep in touch with someone _other_ than her coworkers. Then again he was the first she'd met and kept in contact with who she hadn't met through work so, only keeping in touch was a new record for her.

 _*_ _Hey, got a new case. Will have to wait and see how it develops before making plans. KB_ _*_

She went the text and right about when she rose to see how her daughter was doing there was a knock on the door, indicating the food was there. Rearranging her footsteps to the door she called for her daughter to pluck away her schoolbooks. It didn't take long before Kate had paid the deliverer, gotten the food and walked to the couch where they usually ate their takeout.

"Thanks," Elisabeth said when Kate handed her the food she'd ordered and they dug in as soon as they had everything in order.

After they had eaten for about five minutes Kate couldn't keep quiet anymore, she needed to know what was going on inside her daughter's head. "Peanut?" she asked and only when her daughter hummed she continued, "What made you think Will could've been your father?"

Elisabeth immediately slowed down her chewing, as if she had hoped Kate wouldn't have brought it up again but to Kate's relief she could see her daughter then tried to think of how to formulate herself. "Brian told some of his friends and then they started saying how we could be siblings and that was probably why we fight so much..." she mumbled out her answer and Kate couldn't help but hate the way some kids could be. "I didn't want to believe it, but then Brian showed pictures he'd found of you and his dad and I just... why didn't you tell me before? You said you told me everything."

Kate met her daughter's eyes and let out a small sigh. "I know baby, but honestly, what I did and who I dated as a fourteen year old doesn't really strike me as something worth mentioning. Besides, we only went out on like three dates," she told her daughter the truth, there was no point in lying about it.

"Fourteen?" Elisabeth asked and Kate hummed. "So that's why you didn't look that old in the pictures."

"What kind of pictures was it? I can't really remember ever taking anyone," Kate asked with a forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"Well," her daughter said with mouth full of food she just put in, "in one picture you were sitting in a couch and in the second..." she took a break in order to swallow. "The second was of you two standing outside, his arm around your shoulders."

Kate tried to think back, back to that innocent age of hers, before anything happened. Maybe his mom had taken a picture of the two of them before they went off to that third date? And the two of them in a couch? Who the hell had snapped that one?

"Huh, well, you don't have to worry peanut," Kate gave up, knowing she wouldn't remember no matter how hard she tried, she'd repressed those kind of memories a long time ago. "That Brian kid is definitely _not_ your brother and Will is not your father, okay?"

Her daughter nodded, taking more food into her mouth as she mumbled, "Okay."

Kate observed her daughter for a couple of minutes, making sure her mini-me was letting go off the anger and worry she'd come home with, before she could truly focus on her own food again. She wondered how many times she'd have to tell her daughter she didn't know who her father was, in only about one and a half month she'd already told her twice... maybe even three? She wondered how many more times it would take before the little girl demanded to know the whole story. She hoped it would be many years to come, but her daughter had her same sense of needing to know the story. That was probably the reason she loved Richard Castle's novels as much as she did. Well, _that_ , and that they both missed her grandmother so very much.


	8. Chapter seven

"Castle."

"Hi," her voice was shy and she hated how she knew he could hear it, "can you talk?"

"Yes! Of course! What's wrong Kate?" she heard his voice immediately filled with concern and blushed at the care he so obviously had for her.

She'd phoned him after putting her daughter to bed, sitting in the couch knowing her little girl should not wake to her talking. There had been many times she'd spoken to her colleagues after hours while her daughter was asleep so she knew for a fact that so long as she didn't yell, or talk louder than in her normal voice, Elisabeth would not wake up.

"Nothing," she immediately said, mostly out of habit, before she bit her lip. He was patiently waiting her out, probably knowing she needed time to collect herself before saying more. They had only known each other for about a month and he already knew her so well it was absolutely _crazy_! "It's Elisabeth," she admitted with a small voice.

"Something happened? She okay?" he immediately asked, the concern only increasing.

"Yeah, she's okay, don't worry," she sighed, and once again he was waiting for her to explain, something she wasn't exactly used to doing. "She keeps asking about her father, and it just tears up some wounds that's all."

"Her father?" she could hear him gulp and she wondered why. "He's not in the picture at all? You've never told me about him," he said with a careful tone, as if he was trying his best not to be intrusive.

She bit her lip again, this time hard enough to draw blood which had her curse under her breath. "No, he's not... and he never will be," she whispered, not bearing to speak the words louder in case her daughter would, despite all, wake up.

She could almost hear the way he was trying to figure out how to ask his next question, and so this time _she_ waited _him_ out.

"Do..." he cleared his throat, "Do you want to talk about it?" He was most likely swallowing, trying his best not to invade her privacy, and she wondered if it was because of how well he already knew her or their it being to early with such intimate question in their newly-found friendship.

"Not really," Kate sighed. "I've never really told anyone, except for my mom, and I wasn't exactly planning on it."

If she was to be honest with herself she didn't even expect to give _that_ information out, hadn't plan on even _hinting_ on there being something to tell at all. But it was different with him, had been from the start. He had made her spill secrets and information she shouldn't and hadn't in the past, _and they'd only known each other for around a month!_ It was crazy.

"Well," he said in a hesitating tone, "if you ever do want to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Kate only mumbled her thanks, feeling her cheeks go warm with the shyness she felt. "How's the book going?" she decided to change subject, didn't want to talk about anything related to the father of her baby, and she knew he'd started writing a new book after their first interview.

"O-oh," he chuckled teasingly. "Wouldn't you wanna know."

She rolled her eyes, immediately feeling a smile enter her lips and all her agony disappearing. "Come on!" she half-whined. "You have told me _nothing_ about it! I deserve to know considering you use my expertise in homicide to write it," she complained and he only chuckled at the other end of the phone. "I'm serious! Tell me," she demanded, but the smile on her lips kept getting bigger and bigger.

"I'm not gonna tell you, you'll leak the information," he mocked and she gasped with fake hurt.

"I am _not_ ," she argued, "come on, tell me why Derrick Storm needs to have more accuracy about homicide crimes when you've done a great job so far."

He went silent on the other side and suddenly she got worried she'd said something to upset him. Thinking about her words she couldn't exactly understand what could've triggered the silence.

"You know, sometimes I forget you haven't read the whole book yet," he commented and confusion filled her.

"What does that have to do..."

"This book that I'm writing is a complete new one, not a Derrick Storm."

"No Derrick Storm?!" she _just_ managed to control her voice from screaming, _just_ managed to keep herself from waking up her peanut.

"Nope," he popped the 'p'. "I'm done with him, I mean, I've got a much more interesting character who people will love as much as... they loved Derrick Storm."

Kate thought she could hear a slight change of his words but didn't really pay any attention to it, she was still too shocked to hear he wouldn't continue on the book series she and her daughter had loved and followed for the past few years.

"But... you can't quit Derrick Storm," she suddenly realized how desperate she sounded and cleared her throat to try and get rid of it. "I mean, maybe you could write another one after you've written this one?"

Once again she heard him chuckle but instead of agreeing he just said, "I don't think so, this new character will have lots and lots of more books before I can consider writing about anything else again."

After biting her lip once again she decided there was no use in trying to convince him, so instead she made it her mission to find out more about this 'new interesting character'. "Fine, so, who _is_ the new character?"

"Wouldn't you wanna know?" he teased with a chuckle and she groaned. Would he keep this up all night? "Weell," he dragged out and she thought about just ending the call to let him taste on some of his own medicine but thankfully she didn't, "she's smart, funny, has a somewhat difficult past. Oh! And she's also hot and warm-hearted, and an extraordinary homicide detective."

" _She_? Wait..." Kate's thoughts were spiraling, running wild with confusion embedded in them. " _Are you basing your character on me?!_ "she couldn't stop the question from coming out of her mouth as a hiss.

"Are you mad?"

His question and the realization caught her off-guard. Was he writing about _her_? _Why?!_

"Because you're extraordinary, inspiring, and you make me write like I've never done before," his answer made her realize she'd apparently asked her question out loud, _damn it_. "You're the best muse I've ever had."

"Call me a muse again and I'll break both of your legs," she threatened, holding her finger high even though there was no way of him seeing it.

"Kinda hard when you have no clue as to where I live," he mocked and she narrowed her eyes.

"Not hard at all to find out when you're a cop," she shot back.

"Is that a threat? I could file a report against you."

"You wouldn't dare." The smile on her face was probably obvious to him but somehow that didn't bother her at all. She liked this small banter they had at times, liked the way he continued to tease her, made her smile like no one except her daughter had done.

"Dad, who are you talking to?" A girl's voice sounded in the background of the call and Kate immediately chewed on her lip.

"Pumpkin! I didn't think you were still up, I'm talking to Kate," she heard him explain to his fifteen year old and by the simple mention of her first name she wondered how much his daughter knew about her.

"Ooh, your..." she heard muffling and she could imagine he was holding over the mic in order to keep out whatever his daughter was saying.

"Castle? You still there?" she chuckled when he answered within lightning-speed.

"Yeah, of course! I'm here, I'll just say night to my daughter and then..."

"You know what?" Kate interrupted him with a soft voice and a smile set on her lips. "It's late, I should get to bed, got work in the morning."

"You sure? Won't take long to say night," he asked and she shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see her.

"No, I'm tired, thanks for distracting me though," she said with a grateful voice, more grateful than he would ever understand.

"Anytime," his sincerity had her heart going warmer. "Sleep tight Kate."

"Night Castle," she replied before hanging up and placing her phone close to her heart, clutching it while thinking about their conversation and how he could make her feel so much better without too much effort. She only gave herself about a minute to think about it before she shook her head and raised from the couch, walking around her apartment to turn off the lights and make sure the door was locked along with the windows before she headed to join her peanut in the land of sleep.

* * *

"It's not fair! You've met _her_ daughter why can't I meet _her_?" Alexis questioned as her father started pushing her down the corridor to her room, the way he'd done since she was a kid and also the reason she always had thick slide-able socks on at home.

"I don't want to push her into thinking something it's not," he explained for the hundredth of time before adding, "besides, I haven't met Elisabeth since that first time."

"But you do like her, don't you?" Alexis countered and Castle narrowed his eyes as he felt her glance at him.

"Not in... we're just friends."

His daughter snickered at him, "Sure you are dad." He stopped in his tracks as the fifteen year old started walking on her own towards her room.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he questioned as his feet quickly carried him after her.

His daughter chuckled, _chuckled!_ , and he watched her settle down in her bed with a book in her hands.

"You _know_ what it means dad, you just don't want to see it yet," she said lightly as she opened the book. "Anyway, I want to meet her! Can't you ask if she wants to join us for dinner? Maybe her _and_ Elisabeth?"

How did she manage to sound so much like his little girl and so much like a full grown woman at the same time? And maybe she was right, maybe it was unfair for him keeping her away from meeting Kate. He had been telling her a lot about her so maybe it was time for the two of them to meet. Kate had seemed pretty interested in his daughter at the times he'd talked about her, once she had given a comment about how it was refreshing to see him act mature as a father. She hadn't exactly said she wanted to meet his daughter but he couldn't help but feel like she might not be against the idea.

"Fine, I'll ask her," he said as he bent down and kissed her fiery red hair. "Night pumpkin."

"That's all I ask," she smiled up at him with that smile that always had his heart melt. "Night dad."

He kissed the top of her head one last time before leaving her to the book, closing the door behind him as he walked out to give her the privacy she needed. He took a second to think about what he had just agreed to, and thought about how to suggest the plans to his friend. Walking down the stairs he turned off the lights as he went, letting his thoughts spiral in how to form his words to make sure she would find his invitation worth a shot. Once in his bedroom, under his sheets with his teeth brushed and all, he took up his phone and started writing down his words, praying she wouldn't reject him because if he was to be honest with himself his pumpkin was right. Even if they were _just friends_ he didn't want that, but if anyone asked he would never let them know he'd known that since the day he saw her in that store, especially not her.

 _*_ _Hi Kate, just wondering if you and Elisabeth want to come over and have dinner with me and Alexis tomorrow night? Thought it could be fun for the two of them to meet, plus I make a killer lasagna. RC_ _*_

To his surprise he heard a beep the second he turned off his lights, and when he checked his phone again he could only feel the big grin pulling at his lips.

 _*_ _We'd love to. KB_ _*_


	9. Chapter eight

When Kate woke up the next morning she turned onto her belly in her bed only to find her peanut standing next to the edge with a great grin on her lips and she narrowed her eyes at the girl.

"Mm peanut," she grunted as she tried to find her voice after the deep slumber she'd been in.

"Good morning mom," Elisabeth said with a sweet voice filled with innocence.

 _What was she up to now?_ Kate turned over from her belly in order to get a better look at her daughter. In the most warning tone she could muster that early in the morning, she said her name which immediately got the reaction of her daughter turning away with a shrug saying 'What? It can't just be a good morning?' in the most innocent voice possible. That got Kate into action, she sat up and wiped her hands down her face as she cleared her throat.

"Elisabeth Johanna Beckett, come back here!" she called after her daughter, who was halfway out the door when she stopped the second her mother's determined voice filled the room.

Kate could see the hesitation in her daughter's body as the girl started, slowly, backing towards the bed again, turning around with a careful smile. "What's up mom?" she asked and Kate breathed out slowly in order to not snap at her kid for trying to stall.

"Hon, if you don't start telling me 'what's up' soon I _will_ give you consequences," Kate said in a calm tone as she let her eyes bore into her daughter's mirroring hazel green eyes.

Elisabeth pretty instantly gave up, giving out a breath as her shoulders slumped down, and she reached for Kate's phone on the nightstand. Deciding that her daughter most probably had given up Kate only waited her out, knowing she would soon find out whatever thing Elisabeth hadn't planned on telling her. The girl clicked into something on her phone and then handed it to her, her eyes going to the floor to avoid meeting her mother's. To her surprise Elisabeth had opened her messages, and what had her eyes widen and her eyebrows skyrocket was the texts she had in front of her.

 _*_ _Hi Kate, just wondering if you and Elisabeth want to come over and have dinner with me and Alexis tomorrow night? Thought it could be fun for the two of them to meet, plus I make a killer lasagna. RC_ _*_

 _*_ _We'd love to. KB_ _*_

"Did you send a message pretending to be me?! _Elisabeth_!" shouting might not have been the best way to handle the situation but Kate was too shocked to not react that way.

She could feel a small panic rising in her veins, her heart starting to pound faster. She had _not_ planned on taking her daughter out to meet him again, at least not _yet_! Her daughter would only presume... _she didn't know what she'd presume!_ That was the whole problem! She'd told her daughter she was in no position of dating and what would she think if Kate agreed to dinner with the Castle family?

"I want to meet them! Please mom, can we go?" Elisabeth pleaded with the sweetest voice she could get out. "We already said yes," she added with a smug smile and Kate narrowed her eyes on her daughter.

"Go get dressed," she ordered with a finger pointed to their dresser and as her daughter obeyed she glanced down at her phone again. Why did her belly turn when she thought about canceling her daughter's plans? Why did her heart skip a beat at the thought of actually going through with it? _Fuck_.

* * *

 _"Mom, I can't... I don't think I can do this," Kate told her mom as she looked down at her growing belly._

 _It was starting to show now and her whole body was filled with fright._ What was she going to do? _But her mother came towards her with a calm surrounding her soul._

 _"Oh Katie, I know you're worried but you said it yourself. You'd rather give birth than considering abortion, have you changed your mind?" her mother asked, putting her hands on Kate's arms in order to stroke in a calming matter._

 _"No," Kate mumbled, her lips down in a sad expression. "But I will screw everything up mom, I can't be a_ mom _! I'm still a kid! I don't... I'm so stupid for getting into this mess in the first place!" she argued with her eyes filling up with tears._

 _Her mother pulled her into her arms, her hands doing calming gestures on the young woman's back. "You're not stupid Katie, remember it's not your fault, you didn't know what was happening." She sighed before she pulled her daughter at arm's length in order to look into her eyes. "But if you don't want this, there's always adoption?"_

 _The suggestion made Kate cringe, she did_ not _want her baby in someone else's hands. It was still_ her _baby, no matter_ how _she got pregnant._

 _"She's mine," she said with a confidence she had no idea where it came from._

 _"She?" her mother was trying hard not to chuckle, she could tell she was, and Kate bit her lip._

 _"Or he," she changed and her mother shook her head with a smile._

 _"We will help you with everything you need, you don't have to worry baby," her mother promised, kissing Kate's forehead._

 _Kate sighed, nuzzling her head into the crook of her mother's neck as she put her arms around her, taking deep breaths in order to fill her lungs with her mother's calming scent. She was right. They could do this. As long as she had her parents, everything would be alright._

* * *

The door flung open with such force that Kate almost pushed her kid out of the way in fear of a threat being behind the door. But when she saw the redhead standing on the other side of the threshold with a big smile she felt her body relax. _Alexis_.

"Hi, you must be Kate and Elisabeth, I'm Alexis," the teen said holding out her hand to Kate first.

Kate immediately shook the girl's hand and Elisabeth followed her lead as they greeted the teen. Alexis stepped back in order to let them inside and once they were inside, taking off their shoes, she closed the door behind them.

"Dad! They're here!" Alexis called out as she went into the open area and Kate felt overwhelmed by the space he had.

The open area was... she guessed it must be the living room along with a kitchen part, and to their left there was a staircase leading to a second floor. _And_ , as if that wasn't enough space, there was a wall made of bookshelves leading into at least one other room.

"Wow! You could fit a whole family of elephants in here!" Elisabeth called out in shock Kate immediately tried to shirt her down with an 'Elisabeth!'.

A familiar chuckle made them both turn towards the bookshelves where Castle came walking towards them. "Yeah, I found this place not long after me and Meredith got divorced and decided it was big enough for us to play laser tag in," he told them as he gestured towards the big table beside the kitchen part. "Please, come in and sit, the dinner should be ready any second now."

Before Kate could react her daughter had moved away from her and thrown her arms around Castle's waist to squeeze him in a hug as she said hi. Even though she really had no reason for it she could feel her cheeks get warm at the sight of the writer hugging her daughter back, as if it was the most natural thing for them. When Elisabeth had let go of him she immediately followed Alexis to the table where they sat down only to instantly start talking and Kate bit her lip as she went closer to him.

"I, uh," she began, looking down at her feet, "Thanks for inviting us."

A strand of hair fell down her face, and she thought about putting it behind her ear, but before she could raise her hand she was surprised to feel his hand so it for her. She jerked her head up and her eyes instantly found his only to see his own shock in the ocean blues he had, his eyes widened and quickly travelled to the table as he let his hand fall to his side.

Clearing his throat he said, "We're glad you could make it, let's eat," in a uplifting tone. As he walked over to the kitchen, to get the food Kate figured, she let her hand touch the cheek he had accidentally brushed past when removing the strand of hair. It kind of... tingled? Before she could think any more about it her daughter called out for her, breaking her inner discussion, and she quickly schooled her features to walk over to the table without letting anyone know what was on her mind.

* * *

"Can I come over and eat here every day?" Elisabeth said after slumping down into her seat, clapping her belly as if to show how full she was.

Kate gave her daughter a look of question, her raised eyebrows and narrowed eyes making her daughter smile as innocent as she could.

"No offense mom, but you don't exactly cook," she said and Castle chuckled across the table.

"I cook!" Kate exclaimed hurt and Elisabeth raised her own eyebrow in a way Kate could definitely see where she got that expression from. " _I do!_ Maybe not _often_ but I _do_." She only muttered the last part, wasn't sure why but she kind of felt embarrassed knowing her daughter kept feeding the writer with information she did _not_ want him to know.

"You can come over any time," Castle said which immediately earned a death-glare from the detective, and he instantly added, " _as long_ as you ask your mom first." Kate narrowed her eyes to him.

"Nice save dad..." Alexis rolled her eyes and that simple comment had her lips pulling up in a smile, which she immediately tried to hide and resulted in her lips puckering. "Hey Liz, you wanna go check out the book collection I told you about?"

"Yeah!" Elisabeth called out and the two girls excused themselves from the table before they both ran off towards the stairs.

Kate was about to call out to her peanut they would only stay for a few more minutes when Castle interrupted her thoughts.

"So, you don't cook, you sneak your daughter to the shooting range, you've threatened a bully into never bullying again, you've gotten in trouble with the principle for that same situation and you got a cabin in the woods which you once almost burnt down when leaving candles on the table, what _haven't_ you done?" he was definitely laughing, she could both see and hear it no matter how much he tried to hide it behind his hand and by biting his lip.

"Shut up." She put her hands over her face, quite physically hiding her blush from his eyes. "Besides, it's not like I've stolen a police horse while being _nude_ ," she bit back and couldn't stop the smirk from forming on her lips as she removed her hands to look at him.

"Hey!" he exclaimed with shock, before his shock turned into a smug grin, "You checked my file."

"Of course I did, needed to check if you were clean, which you obviously weren't," she mocked but saw the backfiring when his eyes only showed amusement.

"Did you find anything interesting?" he questioned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

She narrowed her eyes on him which only resulted in him wiggling his eyebrows. "Nope," she said and he could see him frown a little, probably expecting her to continue counting the things he'd done.

"Oo! Did it say anything about the cow? Or perhaps they never filed a report for that one," he put his fingers under his chin as his eyes went into deep thoughts.

"The cow?" Kate repeated confused and his attention was back on her with a big, childish grin.

"Yeah, the cow."


	10. Chapter nine

"You _what_?!" Kate exclaimed with shock written all over her face, and Castle couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable she looked. "Did you seriously put a cow on the school's roof?" her voice was _very_ accusing but he was having too much fun to get the least bit offended.

"Yup, you should've seen the principle's face, _priceless_!" he laughed at the memory.

Kate started laughing too, because how could she not? His laugh was contagious and she really _could_ picture the whole scenario in front of her. He was insane.

"Nah, I was a bit of a class clown but I was always fully aware of my pranks," he said and that's when she realized she'd thought out loud. "I was really making sure none of my plans ever hurt anyone... physically," he added when he saw her look.

But she just kept laughing, and Castle couldn't stop the growing warmth spread through his heart. Her laugh must be one of the most beautiful sounds he'd ever heard, and even though she'd laughed in front of him before it had never reached quite this level of... was it comfort? That she felt comfortable enough to be... well, just be?

"You really are something else, Castle," Kate hid her lips behind her hand as she tried to gather herself again.

For some reason she couldn't help but notice how true that sentence was. Somehow it felt a lot heavier than she had meant it. Deep down she felt so happy in his presence and she was just now starting to realize it, actually letting herself _feel_ it. It was as though she could be herself with him without the worry of him judging her, especially since he hadn't even judged her about how young she'd been when she got Elisabeth.

Their eyes locked for a minute, both of them stuck in their own thoughts, not really noticing how they both stared until it became a bit weird and they both looked away at the same time.

"I should start put this in the dishwasher," Castle said in a shy voice and Kate immediately insisted she'd help.

He tried to wave it off by stating she was the guest and he was the host but she just snorted and helped anyway. As soon as they were done Kate thought about how to end the evening, how to say thanks but say they needed to get going.

"Do you want to watch a movie, let the girls play a little more?" he asked the second they were done, trying to come up with a valid reason as to why the two should stay, and for some reason Kate was grateful for the excuse.

"Well, as long as it's a movie we've both seen before I'm in," she said and when he raised an eyebrow she bit her lip, looking down. "I'm not sure how much longer we can stay."

"Oh, right," he nodded. "How about you choose the movie while I set up the projector," he suggested while walking towards the center of the room.

Kate was quick to follow and sat down on the floor where he pointed out his movie collection was. Without much thought we started looking through the movies, trying to figure out which one to pick. She didn't want any romance, and wasn't so sure about action either, she was't even sure she really wanted to watch a movie but at the same time she couldn't find it in her heart to leave just yet. During the dinner her daughter had gotten really fond of the older girl, and she didn't want her daughter to feel like she was taking her away from the chance at a new friend.

"So, you've chosen?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice so close to her ear, _how the hell had he sneaked up on her?_ , and a shiver went down her spine.

"Uhm, no, I can't choose, you've got way too many!" she half-complained, half-teased. He chuckled and she turned her head in order to give him a mocking smile, "And you got a lot more chick-flicks than I do."

His smile turned down quick as he shook his head, "They're either Alexis' or mother's." That only made Kate narrow her eyes at him and his cheeks turned red. "Okay, okay, most are mine _but_ I was raised by a single mother, what do you expect?" he gave in and she couldn't stop the genuine smile from growing on her lips.

Never in a million years had she thought Richard Castle, the famous writer slash playboy on page six, would admit to watching chick-flicks for his own enjoyment. "That's cute." It wasn't until it was already out of her mouth that she realized she'd said it out loud. The smile setting on his lips had her heart skip a beat and she had to look down at the movie collection again in order to avoid his blue eyes. She let her fingers run over the film cases and just took one out of the pile. Rising to her feet she took in a quick breath before turning to hand him the movie she'd randomly chosen.

" _The Pacifier_?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and she nagged at her lip, perhaps it was stupid. "Amazing, did you know they used the same duck throughout the whole movie? Ooh and that scene in the movie where Lulu tells Shane he's cute was actually inspired by the same incident happening between the two when they first met on set?" Kate had her mouth slightly open in shock. She shouldn't have been surprised though, not really.

Castle went to put the movie in, a great grin plastered on his face, which gave her enough time to collect herself and move over to the couch where she sat down and waited for him to join her. When he did, he sat down with only a small gap between the two, most likely not thinking about it at all but Kate couldn't help but wonder when the hell they'd gotten so comfortable with each other. As the movie started she relaxed in her seat, which strangely had moved her body a little bit closer to him. They were both quiet, watching the movie, for about twenty minutes and just when Kate thought it must've been the longest he had gone without saying a word she heard him open his mouth.

"How's everything going with Elisabeth?"

Kate turned her head to him with a confused expression. "What about Liz?" she questioned, and she saw his eyes slowly focus on her, a glimpse of shyness in them.

"About... what you called me about yesterday, she say anything more today? I mean, you don't have to tell me!" he quickly added, as if he remembered it might be too private for him to ask about.

"Oh, uh... no, she's been too busy with talking me into doing this dinner," she said honestly before she bit her tongue, _why'd she say that?_ "It was actually her who answered you yesterday... I found out this morning," she told him the truth.

His eyes widened a bit, "You didn't... I'm sorry, I should've waited with the invitation, given you time to actually think it through."

"No, don't worry about it!" Kate shook her head. "I'm glad we came."

"Me too, and I'm sure Alexis is as excited to finally have met you," he answered and their eyes locked, just like they had at the table.

Only this time she took a deep breath before taking the biggest decision since she decided on keeping her baby. "I don't know who he is," she breathed out in a small whisper, and she could immediately watch the burning curiosity along with the understanding in his blues. Even though she could see the questions wanting to escape his lips he stayed quiet, giving her the space and decision as to whether she wanted to reveal more or not. She surprised herself by continuing. "I was at a party when I was sixteen... I don't remember much of it, I remember drinking with friends, I remember taking one shot too much, a shot I hadn't ordered myself but had no clue as to who gave it to me... thi-inking it was one of my friends, I downed it like nothing," her voice trembled as she relived every blurry second she could remember.

"You don't have to tell me unless you want to," Castle quietly interrupted but she just shook her head.

"It's not really much to tell..." she wiped her hands over her eyes in order to control the tears forming. "I don't remember anything after that shot, I remember waking up and just knowing it had happened, no memory... just the feeling that someone had... anyway, I found out I was pregnant a couple weeks later when my period was late."

"Did you ever call it in?" he asked and she chuckled with a sad tone.

"No, I don't remember, and so I don't even know if I gave my consent or not," she said with a tired sigh.

"But... they could've gone through a rape kit, at least you'd known who was behind it, you could've made a paternity test later to get them to help you with Liz," he went on, and she could feel her walls coming back up. Why had she even told him in the first place?

"I didn't want to know, couldn't stand the thought of knowing who'd... I didn't remember and so I let it go," Kate said with a conclusive tone, only he didn't seem to notice how it hurt her that he kept questioning her way of handling it.

"But didn't your parents make you try find out who it was? Maybe you could've gone to a psychiatrist and done some hypnosis to remember, sounds to me like you were drugged which means the guy who forced himself on you planned on it and probably did it more times."

Kate looked away from him, her heart beating hard in her chest. Her eyes clenched shut and she tried her best to shut out his voice. This was not the reaction she'd expected to get from him, she'd thought he'd stay quiet, _too stunned_ to say anything. At least she'd thought he wouldn't judge her! He hadn't earlier so why would he now that he knew the truth?! And _why the hell had she let her guard down?! Her walls down?!_ Without any indication whatsoever, she raised from her seat and walked to the chairs where she'd seen her daughter flee to earlier. Somewhere behind her she could hear him ask where she was going but she didn't care. _Tried_ not to care.

"Elisabeth! Time to head home!" she yelled up the stairs and she felt his presence at her back.

His hand landed gently on top her shoulder but she was quick to turn around and brush it off, "Don't touch me," she threatened in a low whisper and he immediately pulled his hand back.

"I... I didn't mean to..." she cut him off with a stare as she heard her daughter's footsteps come closer.

"Don't bother," she whispered before she plastered on a small smile for the girls coming down the stairs.

"Do we need to go home _now_? Can't we stay a few more minutes? Please?" Elisabeth asked with her puppy eyes but Kate was too hurt to fall for it.

"No peanut, it's time," she only responded, tone restrained despite her effort at making it sound normal.

She could see the second it went through to her daughter, saw how Elisabeth within a second knew something was wrong, and the girl didn't ask more. The two of them went to the hall followed by the two Castle's and put on their shoes without a word. It wasn't until it was time to say goodbye that Kate was surprised to watch her daughter hug the older girl as they said goodbye, and she didn't have time to stop her when she turned to hug _him_ due to the shock of Alexis coming to hug _her_.

"Bye Kate, it was nice to finally meet you, you're the only one my dad talks about," the redhead whispered quickly in her ear and Kate clenched her jaw at the stab she felt in her heart.

She quickly hugged the girl back, thinking this was the first and last she would see of her because there was no way she'd be able to come back after the judgement she'd felt coming from him. It didn't matter if he hadn't meant it that way, she was hurt and couldn't stand the thought of ever trusting him with her past again. The girls let go and Kate only just said the polite goodbye and thanked for the food and invitation before she grabbed her daughter's hand and walked out of the loft. She had seen the small hurt in his blues, but she was sure he could see hers too, and frankly she wouldn't let herself care. No. She was done opening up to him.


	11. Chapter ten

_"You sure you don't know who the father is?" her mom asked for what felt like the hundredth of time but in reality probably only was the third._

 _"No, mom! I don't know!" Kate yelled out in frustration as she felt her tears roll down her cheeks. Angrily she wiped them away as she paced her room. They'd known she was pregnant for about a week and all she could think of was how the hell she could've been so_ stupid _at that party. Why_ the hell _would she down a drink she hadn't poured herself?! How many times hadn't they warned for this_ exact same _thing over and over again?_

 _"Maybe we should call the police, try fin..." she immediately cut her off with a stern 'no'._

 _Her mother sighed, and all Kate could think of was how she must be such a disappointment to them both. Her father hadn't said a word about it, but at the same time neither had she. Knowing she wouldn't be able to handle telling him she had begged her mom to do it for her, and being the amazing mother she was she had immediately agreed to do it. After that evening she'd heard her mother telling him when she'd supposedly gone to sleep. Every night for a week she'd been crying herself to sleep thinking about how she was supposed to fix all this, and that night had been no different. She'd heard her father's shocked response, not what he had said exactly, but she'd heard the shock in his tone as he had answered her mother. He hadn't uttered a word to her about it and even though Kate wondered how he was not yelling at her she was thankful her father treated her no different. At least not when he knew she saw. Behind her back she had seen him at times having watery eyes, and gazing at her belly, but when she'd asked her mother if he was disappointed in her she'd only said he was simply sad she was growing up and not his 'little girl' any longer._

 _"Katie," her mother sighed as she stood up from the bed she'd been seated at. "What's on your mind right now?"_

 _The careful yet demanding voice was too much to her, tears rolling faster down her cheeks, her heart pumping harder in her chest and she couldn't stop the sobs from escaping her lips._

 _"I don't know if I can do this mom. I... I'm such a failure," she cried out and her mother immediately scooped her into her arms, holding her close, holding her pieces together as they were about to fall apart in front of her. "I don't deserve you... I don't... I shouldn't have taken that shot, I sho..."_

 _"Shhh, Katie," her mother hushed. "It's gonna be alright. You're_ not _a failure, and we love you no matter what baby, you know this," her mother's whisper was gently placed right next to her ear, making sure she would hear every word. "Yes, maybe you should've thought before taking that shot but let's not dwell on the past, the most important thing is that_ you _are okay, and yes you might feel broken right now but I assure you everything will be okay in the end." Kate continued to sob into her mother's chest, her heart swelling with the love she felt coming from her. "And don't forget, we'll be with you every step of the way. Both me and your dad."_

* * *

"Mom?" Elisabeth's voice was extremely careful and Kate kept her gaze on the road as she hummed. "What happened?"

Grateful she hadn't looked at her daughter she tried to brush it off. "Nothing hon, just feel tired and since it's a workday tomorrow I figured it was time to get home."

It was quiet for the rest of the ride, but Kate could feel her daughter's eyes on her every second of it, most likely trying to detect what was wrong. Kate tried her best to keep her poker face on, tried not to let her daughter see any trace of the hurt she had felt during the talk with their favorite writer, tried not to show that they would probably never go there again. Her mind was in ruins, despite what she tried to show to her daughter, she was broken and _god_ _she hadn't felt this way since the time she found out she was pregnant_. She hadn't felt this _cheated_ by life since she was merely a kid.

"Are we ever gonna see them again?"

The question was so small, so quiet and defeated, that Kate stopped in her tracks in the corridor leading to their apartment. Her daughter stopped too, a few feet in front of her, but didn't turn around. Kate opened her mouth, but no words would come out, and so she closed it again.

"I'm tired, can we skip the reading today?" Elisabeth said as she turned around and gave her mother a reassuring smile, as if _she_ was the one trying to puzzle _her_ back together.

"Sure, peanut," Kate said with surprise in her tone before her daughter grabbed her hand and pulled her towards their door.

That night Kate found her daughter curling into her chest like she had done thousands of times before when the image of monsters had entered her mind, and just like then Kate held her daughter with protective arms. Whispering sweet nothings in her ear as they both fell asleep within their own bubble of love they'd upheld since the day her peanut was born.

* * *

A couple days went by and he really didn't know what to do anymore. Richard Castle had, with his creative writer's mind, come up with every possible excuse, sent the best two... _okay, maybe five_... in the form of text messages in hopes of hearing back from her but. Nothing. _Absolutely_ nothing. He had even _called_ her! But yet, nothing. And he was out of ideas! If he had known where she lived he would've showed up there, presumably with flowers and her favorite coffee, but he didn't! Speaking of favorite coffee he _had_ camped out at their coffee shop every day around lunch time, in hopes of catching her there but he should've known she was avoiding going there. _Avoiding him_. He eyed the scotch he had near his desk, considered taking a glass but knew it was too early, and no matter how much he wanted to numb the pain he'd himself caused, he couldn't stand the thought of his daughter coming home from school to find him drunk. Taking a deep breath he turned his gaze back to the laptop in front of him and dove back into the story he had been writing in order to remember her, keep her close even if she was pulling away.

Suddenly he jumped in his seat, his phone staring at him with a text message from a number he didn't recognize. Curious he picked it up and opened the message.

 _*Hello! Is this Rick Castle? Liz here. What happened at the dinner? Mom will not tell me. Elisabeth Beckett*_

Castle stared down in shock. Before he could think about anything else he typed out a complete other response than she was looking for.

 _*Does your mom know you're texting me? RC*_

He patiently waited for her reply, stared at the phone as if she would answer quicker if he won the staring contest. The bubbles indicating she was replying came up and he didn't notice he was holding his breath until his phone vibrated with a reply and he exhaled.

 _*No.*_

Oh god. This was a bad idea, a _really bad_ idea. If he did this... she would _never_ forgive him.

 _*Liz, you need to tell your mom, besides, nothing happened.*_

He put down his phone, expecting the girl to listen and go talk with her mom instead before even thinking about replying, but he couldn't help the skipping of his heart when he heard she ignored him.

 _*Bullshit! Something happened! Mom is misrable and she won't talk about it! She never lies to me, now she does. Please fix it, Castle... I don't know what to do*_

His heart shattered for the hundredth of time in the few days it had been since he hurt her with his stupid questions. If it hadn't been for the hurt he might've found the way the nine year old misspelled 'miserable' adorable, but the text was too painfully loaded for him to find any comfort whatsoever.

 _*I know, I know, language. Please do something. Please?*_

Apparently he took too long to answer, because when the message popped up he looked at the time and it had gone a full five minute since she sent the first. He sighed and cursed under his breath.

 _*What do you suggest? What's her favorite flowers?*_ he typed out, praying this would work, if not for him then at least so her daughter would believe he tried.

It didn't take long before he got a reply, and he wondered how much of a hell he would get into for all of this. He had seen her restraint when her daughter hugged him goodbye, had seen the way her eyes had begged her no from behind her daughter's back. She would _kill_ him if she found him keeping in contact with her daughter without her consent, and he wouldn't blame her.

 _*Precinct, 12, she can't go mad there. And purple lilies.*_

* * *

Kate sat at her desk, trying her hardest to focus on the case and not the ignored messages she didn't want to open because she just _knew_ they were all from _him_ asking for her forgiveness. It hadn't taken long for Elisabeth to figure out that whatever was wrong had to do with their favorite writer, and she got to admit that if it hadn't been something she'd liked to keep to herself she was proud and impressed by her daughter's detective skills. Ever since their dinner her daughter had asked, every evening, what had happened and if she was okay. Of course Kate had only put on a smile and said that _nothing_ had happened and everything was _fine_. Elisabeth's eyes told her she didn't believe her for one second, but, just like Kate had with her mother, she knew not to push her too far over the edge. Even the boys had started asking her what was up but she mostly just shrugged her shoulders and said she was fine, 'must be that I'm tired' she often used as an excuse. She'd gotten texts from Lanie saying they should have lunch together but she had so far avoided it thanks to their cases. Her thoughts went back to Elisabeth, had her daughter talked to any of her friends about this? Was that why Lanie seemed worried about her when they saw each other with every new clue? Or the reason she had called her down to the morgue each time instead of just calling her?

Kate was too busy with her thoughts to notice when someone walked up to her desk, standing behind her. She didn't hear his intake of a deep breath or felt the warmth of his body so close to her, which was why she jumped when a hand suddenly reached past hers in order to put a travel coffee cup in front of her. She whipped her head to him and immediately met those blue eyes. From the way her face suddenly went numb she knew the shock was all over her, and her heart suddenly beat faster, for him. It took a minute before she noticed one of his hands holding purple flowers beneath clenching fingers, the knuckles almost turning white at the unusual grip. _Nervous?_

"I'm sorry," he whispered before he fell silent again, waiting for her response.

Suddenly she could smell the scent of her favorite coffee and, _oh_ , she recognized those flowers. They were lilies. _Purple_ lilies _._

* * *

 _ **Thank you all once again for reading this story, I really hope you all enjoy it even though I took this turn, hehe. Have a nice day/night! xx**  
_


	12. Chapter eleven

" _What the hell are you doing here!?_ " Kate hissed when she finally found her voice again and she focused her narrowed eyes on his.

She was shocked and confused and _hurt_. How _dare_ he come to _her_ precinct?! The writer just stood there, still beside her, with the flowers held out to her. She was just about to tell him to leave when someone whistled and looking for the source she saw none other than her two brothers eyeing them with big mocking grins pulling up their lips. _Nu-uh she was not giving them a show_. Standing up she suddenly realized how close he had been, their bodies touching and she immediately took a step back in order to create some space. She clenched her teeth and took a deep breath through her nose in order to calm herself down, collect her thoughts. Without a word she glanced with her eyes to her side as she started walking towards one of the interrogation rooms, bodily telling him to follow. The second he was inside she closed the door behind him and leaned her forehead against it, trying her hardest not to let her feelings get the better of her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in the most neutral tone she could muster, but cringed when even she could hear the small hurt and exhaustion imbedded in her voice. She heard him shuffle around a bit behind her before he cleared his throat and answered.

"I came to apologize, I was a jerk," he said and she bit her lower lip to keep it from wavering.

 _Don't listen to him_ , she kept telling herself. _He already hurt you once_.

"I tried... I've already sent you the best apologies I could come up with... but I-ah, you didn't respond and so I..."

"Came to bother me at work when I so clearly want nothing more to do with you? You got your research. Now go," she cut him off with the strongest voice she could find.

"That's not... I don't..." he took another breath to assemble himself. "I don't only meet up with you for research Kate, I want us to be friends," he defended himself.

Kate spun around with a glare in her eyes. "Then you should've thought of that before. I've nev... just go," she _just_ managed to stop herself from revealing another thing about her.

What was _wrong_ with her?! Why did it feel so _easy_ to tell him things she shouldn't?!

"At least take these, please? I did buy them for you and even though you won't accept the apology I can't leave before you take the flowers."

He was practically begging her and when she eyed the flowers he held out for her once more she felt a weird stab in her chest. "Who told you?" she demanded in her harsh detective's voice.

"Told me w..."

" _Purple lilies_. Not common knowledge so. _Who. Told. You?_ " she repeated with a sharpness in every word.

She could visibly see the thick swallow he did before he looked down at the floor as if in shame. Threateningly she took one step closer to him and he crumbled under her stare.

"She texted me, don't know how she got my number but she did and I told her it was a bad idea to text me without you knowing but she insisted I should come here and..." he was rambling and so she told his name once in that sharp tone and he glanced up with shame clear in his eyes. "Liz."

It felt as though her breath was taken away from her, as if there all of a sudden was no air left for her to absorb. Her _daughter_ had _texted_ him?! _When?! How?!_ Being speechless she just stared at him with her mouth slightly agape, her mind circling around with questions. Like, had they texted before? How much had he told her? How much had _she_ told _him_?

"You texted my daughter. You..." she took a deep breath, clenched her eyes shut as she tried to compose herself.

"It wasn't my idea and I can show you the conversation, I tried to tell her to tell you. I... I didn't want to upset you more than I already have, I'm sorry."

His voice was just a whisper that last part and she felt her eyes sting. How could he still have such a power over her? She hadn't allowed him that power. She never gave anyone that power. She rubbed her eyes with her hands, before letting her right travel into her hair, holding onto her hair as she tried to think, tried to come up with her next move. Did she really want to see that conversation? Was he telling the truth about her daughter being the one to seek contact? Did she believe his words? For some stupid reason she did, not only did it _sound_ like something her daughter would do but... he had that _look_ in his eyes. The look that told her he was telling the truth, like he always did with her no matter how annoying he was. He never thought before giving her the most honest answer he had... which also explains his thoughtless comments when she told him her biggest secret. Didn't justify the way he reacted though, nor the way he hurt her.

"I can't with this, go. Just leave me alone." She turned on her heel, walked straight out of the interrogation room with determined steps. Without even giving him a second glance she strode out of his reach. By her desk stood Esposito, waiting for her, but she strode past him, grabbed her jacket and phone and continued towards the stairs. The elevator would've taken too long.

"Yo! Beckett!?" Esposito called after her but she just opened the door and took two steps at a time, she needed air.

She didn't stop once she got outside, she knew he would not be long after and there was no way in hell she would let him catch up to her. Putting on her jacket she pushed her hands inside her pockets as she walked down the street with fast steps, avoiding meeting anyone's eyes as she passed. Her eyes stung again and this time she couldn't hold back the tears and so she just let them slide down her cheeks in silence as her feet continued to move, not caring about anyone who might've tried to get her attention in hopes of asking if she was okay.

* * *

 _"Look at her," Kate said with awe in her voice, her eyes filled with tears._

 _Her mother came to her side and even though she couldn't take her eyes off the little girl in her arms she knew her mother was smiling. Grinning even. "I told you it was worth the pain," he mother whispered in her hair, kissing the top of her head gently._

 _Kate only hummed, too mesmerized by the small baby to fully keep up the conversation. It had been a long day, a long month in fact, and she was just so tired but yet this little bundle of cuteness made her feel so warm inside and she couldn't just_ _go to_ _sleep._

 _"Katie?" her father said in a low question as he peeked inside the room._

 _"Yeah?" she said gently, not looking up from the little girl. Her little girl. Oh god, she was a mom now._

 _"Can I met my granddaughter now?" he asked and she immediately looked up at him with a great but shy smile, quickly nodding._

 _Her father took a few quick but careful steps towards the bed and Kate moved her arms a little to let him get a better view of the peanut, who would be with her for the rest of her life. She heard her father let go of a gasp, and when she looked up at him she could see tears of pride in his eyes along with a big gentle smile._

 _"You did great Katie," he whispered and she felt her cheeks get hotter._

 _"I couldn't have done it without you," she told him, getting teary, and turned to her mom, "both of you."_

 _Both her parents looked at each other before they both kissed one side each of her hair. Kate's eyes went back to her peanut. So beautiful. Even though it hadn't been her plan she would make sure her daughter got all the love she deserved. And Kate promised herself she would never let anyone hurt her peanut, especially not the way she'd been hurt herself._

* * *

"Mom!" Kate almost got knocked down by the force of her daughter running into her, throwing her arms around her and holding her tight. "Where have you been?! What happened?!" Elisabeth asked hurriedly and Kate hated herself for putting that worry in her small voice.

Kate let her arms fall around her peanut and kissed the top of her hair, mumbling soft apologies. She felt her daughter squeeze tighter once before she started pulling away enough to look up into her mother's eyes, silently demanding for her to explain.

"Katie, are you okay?" Kate looked up to see her father stand not far away from them, observing the two of them with a small hint of worry in his eyes.

She wondered if Elisabeth had seen that, seen the small worry, but she also knew her father. He was good at hiding things, especially when he felt worried.

"I'm fine dad, thanks for staying with her. I just needed to take a breather, this new case is really getting to me," she lied perfectly, using her skills as a detective to hide the truth.

"For the whole night? Mom, we were worried you'd gotten hurt!" Elisabeth said with a harsh tone.

Despite the harsh and bitterness she could see in her daughter's eyes, Elisabeth wouldn't let her go, wouldn't storm away with anger, and Kate felt her heart sink. _She'd been_ that _worried_. And Kate had been the one to put it there.

"I'm sorry peanut, it won't happen again, I promise," she swore and her daughter only just let go of her with one arm in order to hold up her hand.

"Pinky promise?" she challenged.

Kate couldn't help but smile through the small pain, "Pinky promise", and hooked her finger with her daughter's. Her father came up to the two of them and wrapped his arms around them.

"Guess I should head home then, glad you're okay Katie." He kissed both of their heads, "love you both."

"Love you back," the two brunettes shot back simultaneously.

The second the elder man was out the door Kate felt her daughter's hand pull on hers, dragging her to the couch. Once they both sat down the girl snuggled as close to her as she could.

"I'm sorry too mom." She said and before Kate could ask what about she continued. "I thought you seeing Castle would make you happier, you were so much happier when you saw him, so I told him to go."

Kate felt her heart pump a tiny bit faster. _He had been telling the truth_. Not that she had doubted him, she had heard the truth in his voice and, if she was to be honest, it did sound like something her daughter could do. Almost by automatic Kate snuggled even closer to her tiny girl, well, she wasn't _that_ tiny anymore but still, and put her nose in her hair, breathing her in.

"What really happened during that dinner mom? Why are you so determined not to meet him?"

The question was careful, as if her daughter was afraid of the answer she might get, afraid to be rejected, and she bit her lip in agony. Should she tell her? Would it do any difference? Maybe her reaction had been silly. Maybe she overreacted.

With a sigh she spoke, "I told him something, something that hurt me in the past. And he asked too much, suggested what I should've done, should still do I guess."

"That's never a good idea," her daughter commented and Kate chuckled with a 'no'. "But..." her daughter cut herself off.

Kate wrinkled her forehead, turned herself a bit in order to take her daughter's hand and stroke it gently. "But...?" she encouraged.

Her daughter took a deep breath, gathering strength she supposed. "Isn't that who he is? Asking too many questions? And don't you always say he talks before he thinks?" when Kate gave her a questioning stare she grinned with no shame. "I might've read your messages to Lane, and some of his million questions."

"Liiiz," Kate said in a warning tone but her daughter simply shrugged her shoulders with the same grin plastered on her face.

"Still... will you ever forgive him?" she ignored her mother's warning, and before Kate could say something negative she added, "Because you looked so happy during that dinner, and every night after you'd seen him. I've never seen anyone bring that glimpse to your eyes."

"What glimpse?" Kate asked, a bit caught off guard.

Elisabeth got a wrinkled forehead as she seemed to be thinking, and if it hadn't been for their conversation Kate would've teased her about it. It took her a few seconds and Kate wondered if she even knew what the so called glimpse stood for, but when she said the next few words Kate knew exactly what emotion she'd referred to.

"It's the same glimpse grandma and grandpa had when they looked at each other."


	13. Chapter twelve

Kate couldn't sleep. After four hours of laying cuddled with her daughter in hopes of getting rest she finally gave up. _Was she right?_ _Did she have that glimpse her parents had so openly shown during her whole life?_ Elisabeth had certainly gotten her thoughts running. If she was, maybe that'd explain why his reaction had hurt so much, and _how_ he'd gotten so close to her without really having to fight. Also, she wondered how Elisabeth could remember that look, she'd only been two when her mother was... killed. But then again there were a lot of photos of her parents looking lovingly at each other, perhaps that's why she'd seen the resemblance. Thinking about her parents and how it all had turned horrible she was thankful she'd had Elisabeth. Kate had been nineteen at the time, and just finally gotten a somewhat role of motherhood, when she suddenly lost the only mother-figure she had. That's also when she decided to become a detective, serve justice to those who some cops couldn't, like her mom. If it hadn't been for the need to take care of Elisabeth she probably would've dug her own grave with her mother's case, but with the small girl as a constant reminder that she needed to keep her two feet on the ground she never fully dug into the cold case. Of course she'd taken a shot, but seeing the way her daughter had missed her every day, and how much she'd already worried the small toddler, she'd let it go. Elisabeth had also been a brilliant card against her dad. She'd stumbled across him drunk a few nights in a row and threatened that if he didn't stop and got help she'd take Elisabeth with her and never let him see her again. It was them or the booze. Thankfully he immediately sobered up and picked them, joined a support group and poured out all alcoholic beverages he had in his home. Kate jerked at the sudden sound of her phone vibrating, and she turned in the bed to grab it. She glanced towards her daughter to make sure she hadn't awoken to the sound before she clicked into the message she'd gotten.

 _*I_ _will stop bothering you, it only seems to hurt you more, and I'm sorry. I hope you're okay, Liz texted me again earlier in hopes you were with me when she couldn't reach you. I just felt like you should know, I didn't want to keep it from you. RC*_

Kate stared at the message, then looked over at her daughter's sleeping form. Was she fooling herself? Had she been overreacting? The man was a curious soul, she knew that, and he was quite annoying as well. Perhaps he hadn't been thinking, perhaps he'd only wanted the justice for her she never got. Before Kate could comprehend what was really going on she was sending a message back to him.

 _*Meet up? Usual spot, 1pm tomorrow. KB*_

It didn't take long before she got a reply.

 _*I'll be there! RC*_

* * *

Castle was nervous, he didn't quite understand why but he was. He was also extremely happy she'd texted him back during the night, had never fathomed she would still be awake, nor that she actually would answer. And if he thought she would've answered it would've been something in the style of 'fuck off'. Sitting at their table he stared at the coffee cup in front of him with her order, as he continued to fiddle with his own. He had ordered for her in hopes she would actually stay long enough to finish it, actually halfway hoped it could be a reasonable bribe to have more time with her. He was nervous, and _god_ he couldn't stop thinking about it. At least she wouldn't yell at him, he knew that much because she wasn't one to make public drama, which had been why she'd dragged him into that interrogation room the day earlier. She didn't want that attention, and frankly he didn't either.

"Hi."

Her voice startled him and he looked up to see her, biting her lips hesitantly as she eyed him. As if he couldn't get himself to answer her he only raised his hand in a slight, embarrassed wave, and... _was that a pull in her lips?_ She sat down before he could even find his voice and to his relief she took a sip of her still hot coffee. It was ironic, for a writer he just sat there with no words. His mind was running wild and still he couldn't come up with any good words.

"I'm sorry," he repeated himself before he could stop the words from escaping his lips, her hazel green eyes immediately reaching his. "I really wasn't thinking, didn't truly stop to understand the privilege you gave me, the secret you confided me with. 'M sorry I broke your trust." He felt his eyes sting at the emotions pumping in his blood, his heart feeling like it was ripping in half and he wondered if this is how she felt that evening, probably worse.

He looked down in shame, couldn't look at her anymore due to the hurt he'd caused her. She sighed and he mentally prepared for her to leave, because why shouldn't she? He screwed up. Bad. Which was why he got so confused when her voice reached his ears.

"I know."

It was just a whisper but it immediately had his head shot up and his eyes trained on her.

"You wouldn't send a thousand apologies with this kind of emotion if you weren't truly sorry," she explained, her voice soft and somewhat broken. _He caused that_. "I guess I might've overreacted..."

He shook his head violently, "No, no you didn't."

She shrugged her shoulders in a dismissive matter. "Well, I should've expected nothing less from a curious soul. Especially not when you always have so many questions and poked in my privacy even before you knew me."

"Still... not my finest hour. I didn't mean to hurt you Kate, or offend you in any way. I... I was just so shocked, it's no excuse, but thinking you, a strong, extraordinary detective, to go through something like that... I'd never thought."

Kate took a sip of her coffee and he could see the satisfaction she felt when she tasted the warm liquid. She even moaned quietly and he wondered if she'd gotten her daily coffee even without meeting him at their coffee shop. He hadn't seen her there, because yes, he had been to the shop every day in hopes of catching her there, but maybe she'd just went to another shop and gotten the same order.

"How's the book going?" she suddenly asked and he looked at her with wide eyes, was she just going to let it all go?

"Uh," he muttered before he found his words again. "It's going good, I-uh have almost finished the first book but I'm already planning on a second, assuming you're okay with it?" he said it in an asking tone, not wanting to publish anything without her consent considering he was using her life as inspiration. Even if he didn't take anything directly from her life, Nikki Heat still lived a pretty similar life.

"You... you got more to tell?" she asked surprised and he wondered why it seemed to come as a shock.

"Of course! You've given me more inspiration than I ever had with Derrick," he confessed, feeling like honesty would fit bet considering everything. "Speaking of Storm, how's that going for you guys? Have you gotten to the end yet or did I... destroy the book for you," the last thing he only mumbled, his lips pursed in a guilty frown.

"Oh... we-ah, haven't read that much lately, but we're closer to the end than the middle," she told him hesitantly.

They were silent for a few minutes, sipping their coffee and even though he wondered what was on her mind he didn't really dare ask, didn't want to ruin his chances of a second chance she seemed to have given him.

"Before I... screwed up, I was going to ask you if you want an advanced copy of Nikki Heat before it gets published?" he couldn't really stand the silence, he wanted things to go back to the way it was before he hurt her. They had gotten so far in their relationship and now it felt like they were back at square one, only with her trusting him _less_ than she did when they first started talking.

"Nikki what now?" her voice was as loud and shocked as it could be without drawing attention from the other customers of the shop.

 _Oh. Shit._ He'd forgotten she didn't know the name he'd given her alter ego. "Uh, Nikki Heat, she's-ah... the new character I've written about..." his voice faded out, not sure how to really explain how the name had come to him.

"You named the character you're basing on me with a stripper name?" she half hissed.

"It's a cop name," he immediately defended and when she opened her mouth again he held up his hand with a pleading look. "Just, think of the book titles, _Heat Wave, Summer Heat, In Heat_... okay, maybe not the last one!" he quickly added when he saw her eyes pop wide open with horror.

"You better not get any ideas Castle," she threatened and he scratched his neck, suddenly remembering page 105. If she wouldn't kill him for the name he'd given her she would most definitely kill him after reading _that_.

Before he could say anything else her phone buzzed and her eyes left him in order to check her message. "I need to go," she said and he felt his heart sink, he wouldn't get more time with her? "They got a new lead, this could actually crack the whole case wide open," she added under her breath but he heard her loud and clear thanks to concentrating on every word uttered from her lips. She started pulling away as if to stand up but he quickly stopped her with a 'wait'.

Once she turned her attention back to him he opened his mouth again. "Will... can we... are we okay? I mean... will you accept my apology and can we still be friends?" He watched her bite her lower lip, gnawing at it as if she hadn't eaten lunch, which she most probably hadn't if he knew her right, and he suspected he did. When it took too long for her to answer he couldn't help but at least _try_ get a smile on her lips. "I mean, you still owe me that trip to the gun range."

That elicited an upturn of her lips as he could see her eyes glimpse with something. Pride flew through his veins as her lips pursed in her attempt at hiding the smile which was so clear in her eyes. "I never agreed to that," she mocked.

"Yes, you did," he countered back and she wrinkled her forehead, clearly trying to remember a time when she would've agreed to such a thing.

"No. I didn't. If I did I would've shot you already," she said it with a smirk playing on her lips and he was so glad she treated him like she did before.

"Oh come on, please?" he was anything but ashamed of his begging, in fact he was pretty proud of the way he could see laughter tingle in her eyes.

She narrowed her eyes at him before wrinkling her nose and he couldn't stop but thinking she looked so damn adorable life that. His heart was beating fast in anticipation for her answer, he wanted them to continue be friends, wanted them to continue the daily checkups and meet whenever they had time. He liked the way he was with her and he enjoyed her company more than he had ever enjoyed anyone else's, only exception being his daughter. To his surprise she sipped the last of her coffee, stood up without a word and prepared to leave. He was about to protest, wanting her to answer his question about them being friends before she left, but suddenly her eyes locked with his and the glimpse in them were filled with mischief.

"Tomorrow, 8 pm. Be there or lose the chance," she smirked and winked before she turned to walk out of the coffee shop.

* * *

 _A/N: I know a lot of you don't like Kate's reaction at all and I totally understand that, I just want you to know I'm not always in control of what I'm writing. Okay, now people will think 'yes you are, you're the writer' and yes in a way I am, but I don't know how to explain it. I write what I see, I see the whole story/scene playing in my mind as I write, I don't always make conscious decisions but let the story in itself steer me ^^ Anyway, hope you still enjoy the story and that you will keep reading till the end, if not I understand and hope you'll find the fic that fits you better xx_

 _Also, to the anonymous asking why this is M-rated: I was planning on writing something more M-rated in the later chapters, plus I've gotten noted before that my ratings have been wrong when I've had it on T (not this story but previous stories), which is why I've rated it M as a secure line for me. I also didn't really have a clue how much of Kate's past could be hard for some people to read (yes, I know it's not that visual etc because of her not remembering) but this too was for me to be sure people won't hate me for making it T when some people find it as M. It's all a question of definition and I've decided to define this story as M so far. I'm sorry if it disappointed you in any way, but there are way more M-rated fics that are more M than this one._

 _Have a great day y'all, and I know I'm a day early but I wanted to surprise you a little, hehehe xxx_


	14. Chapter thirteen

A knock sounded throughout the apartment and both Kate and Elisabeth looked at each other with big eyes. With only their eye contact Kate got her question quickly answered and knew either her nor her daughter had invited anyone for the evening. Kate quickly signed bedroom and as Elisabeth immediately sneaked away Kate pulled out her gun from her holster at her hip, clicking off the safety as she walked towards the door. She got to her door and glanced through the peephole only to roll her eyes at the sight.

"Liz! It's okay!" she called out as she opened the door to reveal her best friend at the other side.

Kate clicked on the safety again before holstering her gun at her hip again.

"I come baring gifts!" Lanie said the second Elisabeth came into view, holding up a plastic bag containing Chinese food.

Elisabeth gave up a joy filled shout as she ran to her aunt in order to give her a hug as disguise of stealing the bag. Kate couldn't help but laugh at the sneaky little thing as she ran to their dining table.

"Hi girl," Lanie said as she turned to hug Kate.

Kate greeted her best friend before she closed the door and they joined the brunette already stuffing her mouth full with food.

"Slow down or you'll get tummy ache," Kate warned her daughter who only groaned at the comment.

"But it's _so good_ mom," she complained and Kate chuckled, shaking her head.

The two women joined the little girl, quickly finding the right container, of course Lanie knew everyone's favorite, and dug in.

* * *

"Wait, so, you met with him? _Today_?!"

Kate immediately hushed her friend, glancing towards the bedroom and _praying_ her daughter was actually asleep. After dinner all three of them had watched a movie together with popcorn and soda for the girl and wine for the women. Considering Elisabeth had been sliding in and out of sleep for the last half hour of the movie Kate helped the girl into bed the second the movie was over, kissing her peanut on the head and wishing her goodnight before rejoining her best friend on the couch. Of course by then Lanie had _demanded_ Kate to tell her everything that had happened, _everything._

"Yeah, I did," Kate answered and Lanie's eyes got even bigger with the shock on full display.

"Wh... h... d..." Lanie stuttered, probably not really knowing what to say.

"I don't know why Lane," Kate whined. "I... I just know that I... he's making me feel so... carefree," she groaned, putting her hands over her face to hide. "I don't know why I agreed to meet him today but seeing his smile, the way he lit up the second he, only god knows how, put a smile on my face, it made me... feel so..." Kate couldn't find the words, she had never been good at words, and normally Lanie would just agree and move on but for some reason she had a big grin on her face as she asked her to go on. "Warm?" Kate tried the word out, was that what she felt? A warmth spread through her chest? Yeah. That could be it. She nodded at her own word, thinking it was most likely the one she'd been able to close pinpoint to the things she felt.

"Kate?" Lanie said very softly and Kate hummed with confusion, her best friend was _never_ that soft in her voice when they discussed things like this. Not that they talked about this stuff a lot considering Kate hadn't either dated nor gone out much with friends other than her. When Lanie didn't say more Kate looked at her and saw Lanie looking straight in her eyes with a gentle smile on her lips. "I think you need to go out on a date with him."

Kate's eyes immediately shot opened wide and she shook her head violently. "No, no. I'm not dating. Not him nor anyone else." Her voice was weak, much to her disappointment, and her best friend nodded slowly.

"Yes, you are, no matter what you think you're head over heels," she said with the gentlest of voices Kate had ever heard. "You can try to deny it all you want but the way you're talking about it, not knowing why you continued to see him, why you told him about your past, which I still want to hear about by the way," she added with a look telling her she would wait but some day wanted to know what had hurt her friend so badly, "and I think it's the reason you've already forgiven him."

For some reason the words stung in Kate's chest, every word stabbed her right in the heart, and she was unsure if it was because of what Lanie said or if it was because of some truth laying behind every statement. Kate sighed heavily.

"I'm not ready," she mumbled under her breath, eyes looking down, and felt her best friend's arm come around her in a tight hug.

"Will you ever be? Honey, you need to start living again. Your excuse have always been Elisabeth being little but come on Kate, she's old enough to handle her mom dating." The Latina kept on hugging her as she fought the tears from coming. "I think she'll especially be excited about him though considering he's both of your favorite writer," Lanie smirked while pulling away slightly and Kate let go of a nervous chuckle.

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this..." she muttered as she typed in her code for the door.

"This is _awesome_!" the man was extremely excited behind her and she could feel how he bounced up and down on his heels as he waited for her to let them both in.

Castle had, to Kate's relief, been in time, showing up at the corner of the precinct at 8pm sharp, and even though she'd told him they'd have to wait another hour before they could go to the gun range he was skipping in his every step. Okay, she couldn't deny the joy and excitement his whole body sent out wasn't catching onto her but she did try her best not to show him that. Kate had offered buying him a coffee while they waited and even though he at first had insisted on being the one paying she'd managed to change his mind with her continued arguing and her look. Finally at the gun range Kate was glad she'd checked the schedule before she left the precinct, unless someone planned on paying it a nightly, secretive visit, like they did, there should not be a soul near until 5am. And she would sure as hell be home long before then, Lanie had insisted on babysitting Elisabeth but knowing her like Kate did she was almost positive the two would most certainly be doing something Kate disapproved of.

"This is so cool," the writer whispered as she closed the door behind them and turned on the lights.

"Oh yeah?" she mocked and when she looked at him he was frantically nodding his head, making her laugh at the childish excitement glimmering in his eyes.

She lead him the way to the range and took out her weapon, she'd told Montgomery about heading to the shooting range sometime during the next days so he knew she'd be shooting her gun, therefore he was already aware she'd be filing a report of where her bullets disappeared to. Kate stopped by one of the booths in order to tell him to stay there while she went to grab a few things.

"Here," she said once she came back, handing him one pair of protecting goggles along with earmuffs.

He accepted the gear and put it on as she did the same, then she checked her gun, made sure it was loaded and, with a little hesitation, she handed that to him as well.

"Now don't point anywhere except for the paper target. I don't want to explain to my captain how either of us got injured or injured something in here," she told him with a stern voice and despite the childishness in his whole body she could see he was taking her words seriously.

She let go of the gun and he carefully changed positions in order to click off the safety and point towards the target. Kate started chuckling at the way he stood in his side, one eye shut in order to aim.

"Come on Castle, it's not a duel," she teased, walked up behind him and put her hands on his hips in order to shift his position to straight. Once his standing was correct she put her hands around him in order to position his hands in the best position possible for that type of gun. All of a sudden his finger squeezed and the gun fired, she was thankful she was used to the noise in the range or else she would've jumped at the sudden firing.

"Whoa! Shot too soon!" he immediately excused.

"Well, we could always just cuddle, Castle," she teased, pulling away from him as a sudden heat entered her cheeks. Why would she say that?

He turned around to glance at her and she pursed her lips, had almost hoped he'd just let it pass, pretend he hadn't heard her, but the grin entering his face was bigger than she thought it'd be. Refusing to look him in his blues she nodded towards the paper target and thankfully she didn't have to say anything as he turned back around and stood in the position she had helped him into. She waited, observed as he took his time aiming, and was surprised to see his shot landing, indeed on the paper, but outside the target. Castle mumbled something under his breath before he turned to her with a cheeky grin.

"I'm just not used to your gun," he said as an excuse and she rolled her eyes, lips still in a smile though.

"Maybe we should just go again," she half-teased and he pouted his lips.

All of a sudden he shone bright, and she raised her eyebrows in question.

"Wanna make a bet?" he smirked and she narrowed her eyes.

"What kind of bet? Is it one that'll get me into trouble?"

His smile widened but she shook his head no as if he would never think of such a thing. "If I make any of the next three shot into the 10 ring you have to let me shadow you for a week," he challenged and she almost burst out laughing. He had been nowhere _close_ to the 10 ring so what could he possibly win out of this.

"And if _I_ win?" she tried keeping her posture neutral, but she knew he could see the amusement in her eyes.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I do whatever you want for a week."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "What use would that be?" she questioned, wondering what he had in mind giving an offer like that.

"Well, you can make me do dinner, do the dishes... you could order me t cuddle with you if that's what you really want and I won't judge," his voice was as casual as she had ever heard it, but she still felt her cheeks fluster at the mention of her slip-up before.

"Not... fine, deal, my first order is for you to never bring that up again," she stammered but he only smirked.

"Deal?" he held out his hand and before she thought more closely on the trap she was heading straight into she found herself shaking his hand.

She never anticipated he would suddenly posture his body correctly and fire away only to be hitting _every next three shots_ in the 10 ring. She felt her jaw drop and she felt shock going through her body.

"You played me!" she accused and he chuckled as he took in her shocked state. "I can't believe you actually played me," she said in a lower tone.

How had she not seen that coming? She stared at the 10 ring, now with three holes in it, and didn't know how she felt about this. He wanted to shadow her for a week, and now he was going to. A part of her felt halfway cheated, but a part of her, more specifically her belly, felt butterflies flying around with excitement. After having seen her reaction he somehow crawled into himself and suddenly he wasn't as confident anymore. He acted... shy.

"You don't have to let me shadow you, I just wanted to surprise you, I'm not... I don't want to push you into anything you don't want to." His voice was careful, his eyes as soft as she'd ever seen and she had the instant urge to reassure him she wasn't as offended as he seemed to believe. They were friends... friends teased, played around, and so he hadn't truly cheated on her or anything like that. Not like when he... _let that go_.

"No, a bet is a bet, _but_ ," she added, waiting until she got his full attention brought back to her from the floor, and got a smug smile pulling up her lips, " _You_ have to ask the captain, no way I'm participating in that conversation."


	15. Chapter fourteen

"I can't believe you know how to handle a gun and didn't show off the first thing you did when we first met," Kate shook her head as they walked side by side towards her apartment.

Castle had again showed how great he was with a gun, telling her about the time he learnt how to shoot and also about a few accidents that had happened in that time being. She'd laughed more than she had in a while, since before that dinner she guessed, and he'd happily shared more of his embarrassing stories. She kind of wondered if he gave them away only to keep that smile of hers pulled up during the whole evening. When they decided it was time to head home he had insisted on walking her to her apartment, claiming they were safer in numbers. She'd rolled her eyes and reminded him she had a gun _and_ the training to defend herself, but he'd still insisted.

"Well, the first time we met I don't think that would've impressed you at all seeing how you had me in a pretty tight grip," he reminded her and she chuckled at that.

"Yeah, I'm still sorry about that," she offered and he shook his head, big smile on his lips.

"I'm just glad you confronted me at that book store, otherwise I would've never had known you," his voice was way too gentle to be considered the goof-around tone he'd used earlier.

"Me too," she revealed after a few minutes of silence, bumping her shoulder into his in a friendly way.

She could feel his eyes on her, which was why she didn't dare look at him. She was afraid that if she did, she would see some emotion in his eyes that would prove Lanie right, prove Elisabeth right. Though, she already knew they were. They both came to a stop outside her building, none of them making the move of parting ways. She turned towards him but kept her gaze on her feet, biting her lip. When his hand suddenly brushed past her ear to tuck away a stray of hair she finally looked up at him, thinking she could drown in those blue eyes if she stared into them for too long. His hand didn't leave her skin, gently cupping her cheek, and she felt the hot string of a blush entering her face. It tingled, it _actually, literally_ _tingled_ having his thumb stroking her cheek. Her eyes wandered to his lips, her mind having a battle between imagining his lips on hers and pulling away from the intimacy that would mean. He seemed to have caught her looking because it only took two hesitating seconds before he started leaning down and even though a part of her screamed at her to pull away, the other part of her was sighing ' _finally_ '. His lips were barely touching hers at first, only _just_ nudging, but her eyes fell shut immediately and when she didn't pull away she felt his lips get bolder, pushing their lips closer together. She had never had a kiss like that, the gentle movement of his against hers, as if he was shy and scared she'd pull away. It was as if her lips started moving on their own as she started kissing him back with a feverish hunger she had no idea she could feel. The hand on her cheek tilted her head a little in order for him to kiss her more deeply and _god she could feel her breath disappearing_. Her heart was pounding with quick feathery beats and she was overwhelmed by the warmth her chest was imploded with. She didn't know what did it but her hands started moving to his chest, gripping the shirt he had on, pulling him closer as she let her tongue glide over his lower lip in askance for permission. Almost immediately his lips parted and her tongue was met with his, her mouth filling with the taste of him and _fuck_ her head was starting to spin. It didn't take more than a second more of his taste and her knees were giving up, weak by... by what exactly? _Him?_ Castle's free arm went around her waist, keeping her up as he slowed down the heated kiss to slowly pull away with a breath of 'wow'. He held her close as she tried to regain her breath, panting against his lips that were still so close she could feel the warmth of him. Their noses were bumping together with small touches with each breath they inhaled. He was the one recovering first, and she felt him pull away slightly, felt his eyes land on her. Observing her, always observing her.

"We-ah... we should do that more often."

Slowly Kate's breathing was coming back to normal and she couldn't stop the breathy chuckle escaping her lips as she opened her eyes to look at him. He looked so sated and had a goofy grin plastered on his face telling her he had enjoyed the kiss as much as she had. Her knees were still weak and she was thankful he still had his arm around her waist. She didn't feel as frightened as she thought she would, being this close to him with his arm tightly wrapped around her.

"Yeah," slipped through her lips and she bit her lower, still feeling the weird tingling his lips had awakened. "I should... go up, see so Lanie and Liz haven't done anything stupid." She regretted it almost the same instant it was out of her mouth. She didn't want to leave him, felt drawn to be close to him now that she knew what he tasted like. To her surprise though he only nodded, smile still intact, understanding. He was always so damn understanding.

"When's your captain in tomorrow?" he asked and she gave him an asking look. "So I can ask to shadow you, no way I'm staying away for a full day now," he added with a glimpse down her lips.

She could feel her cheeks turn way hotter than they normally would and she tried looking down but his fingers found her jaw and tilted her head back up again, gently. Before she could really comprehend what was happening he had leaned down again and pressed his lips to hers, giving her gentle pecks, and her eyes shut again. Once he pulled away she was about to follow, didn't want his lips gone, but stayed put in order to answer his original question.

"He usually starts at seven." She pushed onto her toes to kiss him again, her hands cupping his cheeks before she let go and started pulling away. "See you tomorrow," she said with a big smile she tried to tame but was unsuccessful.

"Until tomorrow," he agreed and she pushed through the door to her building, glancing back every now and then to see he was watching her with every step she took until she was out of sight because of the elevator.

The second she'd pushed the button for her floor she leant back towards the wall, taking deep breaths as she bit her lip to try and contain her smile. Her lips still tingled with the ghost of his touch as a reminder of what just happened. He kissed her. _They kissed_. And _god_ she wanted to do it again!

Kate was walking as in automatic, her thoughts continuing to be in him and how she felt so warm and fuzzy inside whenever she pictured his lips back on hers, and so when she opened her apartment door she wasn't aware of the fact that her best friend and daughter might greet her at the door.

"What's with the goofy smile?" the voice of her daughter snapped her out of her mind and she froze with wide eyes looking at a smiling Elisabeth and a smirking Lanie.

"Yeah girl, what's with the goofy smile?" Lanie teased and Kate just managed to retrain herself from cursing out loud.

"Nothing," she answered, too quick for it to actually _be_ nothing and of course the two in front of her gave each other a look of disbelief.

"Teeeelll uuuuusss," her peanut whined with her eyes turning big with plea.

Kate opened her mouth to say something but couldn't form the words, didn't know what words she should use, and so she closed it again before turning around to close the door, lock it and then snaked past her daughter and best friend in quick movements. She was lucky they hadn't seen her fleeing move coming or else they could've easily stopped her. Walking to the fridge she opened it in order to grab a bottle of ice cold water, she needed to try and cool down, to stop thinking about that damn kiss before they could find out what was on her mind.

"Mooooom."

Kate took big gulps of the water, making sure to have a good enough reason for not talking, but of course both her daughter and her best friend had caught up to her and were watching her with intent in their eyes.

"It's nothing," Kate said sharply before looking around the apartment. "So, what have you two been up to?"

Lanie and Elisabeth shared a look and Kate felt her stomach twist, _would they really keep asking her?_

" _We_ watched movies, painted our nails _and_ did our hair. _Multiple_ times, what did _you_ do with Richard Castle?" Lanie smirked and Kate felt her cheeks getting hotter.

She quickly downed another big gulp of water, praying to anyone who was listening that none of the two, especially her daughter, did _not_ see how flushed she was.

"We did what I told you before, we went to the shooting range and again, _do not tell Montgomery_ ," Kate gained her detective voice, thank goodness.

Lanie snorted but gave up, probably with the intentions of interrogating her the second her daughter wasn't with them.

"Was he a good shooter?" Elisabeth's sudden change of excitement and a glimpse of pure curiosity was sparkling in her hazel green eyes.

"Not as good as you," Kate winked at her peanut, who only gleamed more, "but yeah, he was good."

"Really? Can I go with you the next time?"

Kate chuckled at that while shaking her head, "Maybe peanut, maybe." She ruffled the brown hair as her daughter suddenly yawned. "Time for bed hon, go on, brush your teeth because I have a feeling Lanie haven't made you do such thing yet."

She smirked at her best friend who simply shrugged her shoulders at her comment. Kate leaned down and kissed the top of her daughter's hair before the girl went off towards the bathroom. As soon as she was out of hearing Lanie grabbed Kate's arm and demanded her attention.

"Now, _spill_ ," she ordered and gave Kate a look saying 'and no funny business'.

"There's not much to spill, we went to the range, it was fun, he followed me home despite my arguments of knowing how to take care of myself and then we... parted ways," she shrugged but felt her cheeks betraying her as Lanie's look became even more intense. She bit her lower lip before she breathed out, "We kissed," in a small voice, not wanting her peanut top hear.

" _What?!_ " Lanie exclaimed as her eyes turned big and Kate hushed her best friend as the Latina started bouncing up and down on her heels in excitement. "You kissed?! Oh my god Kate, what the hell are you doing _here_? Why aren't you out there with him?! I could look out for Liz!" her best friend rambled on and on and Kate had to physically put her hand over her best friend's mouth in order to stop her from talking.

"Shut up Lane, it's not like that!" Her voice was nothing louder than a hiss but she knew her Latina friend could hear her. "I mean, I don't know what this is, we haven't exactly talked about it," she saved herself before Lanie could say something about her knowing exactly what 'this' was.

"Then _may_ be you should be out there talking to him," Lanie have her a pointed look.

"Mom! Can you brush my hair?" Elisabeth asked coming into view and Kate immediately turned to her daughter.

"Yeah, of course!" she agreed without second thought.

"I guess I should go then. Liz," Lanie said and got the attention of both Becketts. "You and I are having a sleepover soon, then we can continue watching J... uh-Disney movies," Kate narrowed her eyes at her best friend.

" _What_ exactly did you two watch?" she questioned as Lanie slowly backed away towards the door.

"Disney," Lanie shrugged and Kate gave her a warning look, which Lanie only returned with determination.

She was apparently _not_ going to give her the answer so Kate automatically turned to her daughter with her most stern look. To her surprise her daughter only smiled while answering the same as her best friend, _damn she was getting better and better at picking up her own police training_. Lanie quickly said goodbye and since Kate couldn't exactly stop her from leaving, if she was honest she didn't really want her to stay in case she would convince her to go talk with Castle, so she let her best friend go for this time. The Becketts hugged the woman before saying their goodbyes and locking the door after her. As soon as the door was locked Kate followed her daughter into their bedroom where she picked up the brush to start on the brown hair she had found her daughter inheriting from her own genetics.

"So," Kate said as she sat behind her daughter in their bed, "which movie did you two _really_ watch?"

Kate had early on learned the hair brushing was a way for Elisabeth to calm down, like massage, and the girl didn't ask for it unless she needed some mother/daughter time or relaxing. Which kind of worried Kate at times, right now she wondered if the two hadn't watched a movie which had upset Elisabeth in a way Lanie hadn't noticed due to them not living together daily.

"Don't be mad," her daughter pleaded and Kate leaned forward to gently kiss the back of her head.

"Promise."

The word slipped so easily out of her mouth. She could never stay mad at her daughter for too long anyway, and same went for her best friend, they were too much of a family for her to give that up.

"We watched the Jurassic Park movies."

Kate furrowed her eyebrows. _Okay, that wasn't that bad._ "You did?"

"Yeah..." Elisabeth breathed out and Kate pursed her lips in thought, sensing a but coming.

So, when it didn't come Kate encouraged her daughter to speak her thoughts. "But?"

Her daughter hesitated for a couple more seconds, during which Kate stayed silent, knew her daughter would speak up when she was ready.

"Is it possible?" Elisabeth turned her head slightly in order to glance at her mom. "For scientists to make dinosaurs? Because why would they make meat-eaters if they're dangerous?"

Kate 'oh'ed, finally understanding what her kid needed relaxation from. She was afraid of the big beasts in the movie, afraid they could become real and haunt her.

"No," she answered, wanted to calm her daughter as quick as possible. "Even if the theory is good, with the mosquito holding the blood and all, it's not possible since the blood would become so old the DNA wouldn't be readable anymore. Besides, I'm pretty sure scientists would know not to play god like that, especially not after that movie," she added while combing her daughter's hair with her fingers.

"You sure?" the small fear hidden in the girl's voice had Kate's heart aching but she simply smiled calmly at her daughter.

"I'm sure peanut, don't you worry about that, it's just a movie," she promised, once again kissing her daughter's head.

Her daughter hummed but Kat could see she was stuck in her thoughts and wondered if there was something else on her mind. Still, knowing how alike her Elisabeth was she waited, continued to brush her hair in the wait for the thought to be shared aloud. It took longer than she thought it would but about ten minutes later she could hear her daughter open her mouth with a question.

" _If_ it was true, and I would've been the kid on the island like in the third movie, who would you bring to get me home?" her voice was small but filled with a hope Kate didn't really understand.

"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure your uncles would follow without a question," she answered and her daughter looked back at her.

"Yeah I know _that_ but... who would you bring to keep you from breaking down, to keep the hope up?" she challenged and suddenly Kate got a clear vision of what her daughter was after.

She bit her inside cheek, narrowed her eyes on her kid. "I wouldn't ask anyone to come with me, wouldn't want to danger their life..." she started but her daughter cut her off with a sneaky grin.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure he'd volunteer, especially after you two kissed," the grin went possibly wider and Kate stared at her daughter with shock.

"H... How'd you know?!" Kate exclaimed with pure fear, weren't she as quiet as she thought she were?

"You were standing right outside mom, I was walking by the window to see if I could see you coming home soon, plus you looked really goofy happy when you walked inside the door," her daughter teased and _when the hell did she become so good at detecting things?!_

"Shut up, it's bedtime," Kate simply growled and raised from their bed in order to go get ready for bed.

She heard her daughter laughing but could sense the girl was done for today, too tired to tease her any more than she already had. _She'd known the whole time!_ Kate suddenly realized. The second she was inside the door _her daughter knew_ she had kissed their favorite author, and she'd carefully played with her to see if she'd tell her or not. _Oh god_. As she thought about all of this she brushed her teeth and did her needs in the bathroom before returning to their bedroom. Her peanut laid under the covers, eyes closed and Kate tried sneaking around making as little noise as possibly, though as soon as she laid herself down in bed her daughter crawled closer. Elisabeth snuggled into her side and Kate didn't hesitate at putting her arm around her daughter to kiss her hair goodnight.

"One more thing," Elisabeth mumbled and Kate hummed. "Do you like him? Does he make you happy? Will you get together?"

Kate chuckled, "That's three things."

"Just answer."

Kate chuckled again and leaned down the small distance it took to put her nose in her daughter's hair, smelling the same cherry scented shampoo they'd always used.

"Yes, peanut. I like him."


	16. Chapter fifteen

When Kate got into the precinct the next morning at 7 she was slightly taken aback by the looks her two brothers in arm gave her. But before she could interrogate them as to why they looked at her like that she saw and understood perfectly why.

"Morning Kate!" the writer exclaimed with excitement as he saw her coming to her desk, where he'd already planted an extra chair in which he was seated.

Kate stopped in her tracks and looked around her, the eyes of her brothers widened at the writer's choice of words and there were other officers showing high interest in what was going on, probably recognizing the writer from the last time he came visiting in a much more serious and sad manner. She quickly found her ground again and walked with quick steps towards her desk, sitting down in her chair before she planted her narrowed eyes on him.

"Castle, first thing's first, it's either _detective_ or _Beckett_ here, not Kate," she said in a low threatening voice.

He was, to her disappointment, not at all phased by her threat but simply nodded with the same excitement clear in his eyes. "Got it, _Beckett_."

She narrowed her eyes further and leaned back in order to log onto her computer. "Have you already spoken to Montgomery?" she decided to keep her voice low, not wanting anyone to hear their conversation. Thankfully he understood without her needing to explain her tone.

"I did, actually texted him late last night and got an answer today at 6am," he also kept his voice low, avoiding to let curious ears hear the words he uttered.

" _Texted_?" she looked at him with wide eyes. "You have his number?!" she hissed her question, in order to not shout it out loud.

"Yeah, we're poker buddies, didn't I tell you?" he asked and she put her face in her hands.

"Must've slipped your mind," she muttered, annoyed that she'd known no such thing.

"Ah, well, we are," he stated with a smile spread across his lips.

"Beckett! We got one!" Esposito called from across the bullpen, holding a note in his hand and Kate had never been more grateful.

Without missing a beat she logged off her computer, raised from her chair and started towards her fellow detective. After catching up to her two brothers she noticed Castle hadn't moved so she turned around to see he was watching her with confused but curious eyes.

"Castle! If you can't keep up you'll be left behind!" she called out in a mocking tone, causing him to an immediate reaction.

It didn't take long before he'd caught up with them just before the elevator doors shut.

"What's writerboy doing here?" Esposito asked with an accusing tone, which made Kate's cheeks get warm.

"'Writerboy'?" Castle questioned and she cursed her brother.

" _Castle_ is going to shadow us, to see how real police work is like," she explained and Ryan piped in surprised.

"Montgomery actually agreed to this?"

"Isn't it against policy for let outsiders ride along?" Esposito added with a small angry showing in his eyes.

"It's... Espo, he's an author who's doing research for his books," Kate could see her brothers were upset by something, but she just needed her boys to back off right now. If her detective skills did her any good she suspected they were angry at the writer, and she just hoped Castle wouldn't say anything to upset them more.

Speaking of the writer, he cleared his throat to gain their attention and once again repeated, "'Writerboy'?"

"Yeah, you're a writer," Ryan said shrugging his shoulders, no way anyone could miss the irritation he felt.

"And a boy, as far as I know anyhow," Esposito added looking up and down Castle's body, and Kate rolled her eyes with annoyance.

"Just ignore them, Castle, they know nothing," she said and exited the elevator as soon as it opened.

She heard his footsteps follow her and she was glad he was, didn't know what her brothers in arm would do to him if she wasn't around.

"Wh... what did I do to them?" Castle questioned with a small voice the second they both got into the privacy of her car.

She started the engine and sighed. "Nothing. I'm sorry." Driving towards the location the boys had texted her after exiting the elevator she added with a wrinkled forehead, "I'll talk to them later, right now let's focus on the case."

* * *

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Lanie exclaimed the second she looked up from the body she was hovering over.

"Shut up," Kate grunted as she bent down beside the victim. "What you got?"

"Michael Wilson, age 28, GSW to the chest, TOD probably around 2am, but of course I will know more once I'm back at the lab. Speaking of which what is writerboy doing here?" the M.E. looked to Castle standing up in a hovering matter, trying to get as much information as possible without actually disturbing anything.

Kate wondered if that had to do with what the boys did before, if their manners had made him more... shy. She had a feeling that if that scenario hadn't happen he would've been all over the place, searching without her consent.

"He's shadowing our work, going to finally get to see how real police-work is," Kate tried to tease but to her surprise the writer was in deep thought of his own and so she smothered a huff.

"Oooh, so you're gonna allow a little romance on the job for once?" Lanie smirked and Kate immediately shot her a look that could kill.

"No. Just go back to work," she ordered and raised back to a standing position as her friend hummed in disbelief.

Kate nudged Castle's arm and nodded towards a window which stood half-open. He followed her without question and she was glad CSU had already swept that area so they could have a little privacy from curious ears.

"What's wrong?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Just... taken aback by your partners not liking me, wasn't expecting the harsh tones," he said, and after sweeping the apartment with his eyes he looked at her and added, "or the looks."

Kate's eyebrows furrowed and she looked towards where the two men stood, she noticed their eyes immediately left her and the writer the second hers met theirs. "Oh," she muttered and wondered how the hell she would be able to make them listen to her when she told them to leave the writer alone. "Don't care about them, Lanie likes you right? Focus on that." After a quick glance around she lowered her voice into a whisper, "Besides, _I_ like you, and that's all that matters here." His eyes met hers in a small surprise before his lips tugged upwards into a gentle smile.

"I like you too," he assured her and if it hadn't been for the coworkers in the apartment she totally would've kissed him, and by the look he gave her he was thinking the same.

"Now, back to the scene of the crime," Kate turned to the window and started examining the frame of it. "Look here, someone's forced this window open."

"That is so cool," he mumbled under his breath and Kate gave him a look. "Well, not cool someone broke in here but cool how you noticed it so fast," he corrected himself with a cheeky smile.

She rolled her eyes but could only purse her lips in order to contain the growing smile from showing too much. To her relief it seemed like that small detail was all he needed to be completely concentrated in her work and the crime scene. It didn't take long before he started telling his own theories of what had happened, he even came with a solid suggestion that they'd check if there were any security cameras nearby. Of course that was already part of the police protocol but she didn't tell him that, decided to let him have at least one win, though Ryan was highly irritated and muttered when he heard Castle saying it he didn't say anything directly to him. She really needed a talk with her brothers before they made Castle feel any worse than he already did, they were trying to get past the misunderstanding that happened, the hurt, she didn't need the boys to bring it all up again or become an even worse obstacle. When it was time for lunch Kate refused, as always when she had a new case, to leave the precinct. Castle then decided to go get some takeout, said something about he not letting her starve on his watch, and even though she tried to tell him she wasn't hungry he didn't budge. The second he was out of sight behind the doors of the elevator Kate took the chance to ask her brothers to meet he in the break room.

"What's up Beckett?" Ryan asked the second they stood in the room, away from curious eyes.

Kate quickly shut the door and gave the two a glare. "What the hell is up with you two?"

Both men jerked back by the sudden bite, apparently they hadn't expected she'd snap at them the first thing she did. "What?" Esposito asked with wide eyes.

"You know what. Stop being so rude to Castle," she said with a stern, demanding tone, pointing her index finger towards the two of them.

Esposito's eyes suddenly hardened, his nostrils flaring a little with anger. "You expect us it to be cool for him to just strut in here and shadow you after what he did to you?" he hissed and she raised her eyebrows.

"Beckett, there's no way he can weasel his way in here," Ryan agreed with his partner without hesitation and Kate fought not to roll her eyes at their protectiveness.

"First of all, what he did or did not do to me is none of your business," Kate growled, "second, you will stop behaving like assholes because you have no right."

"If he hurt you..."

"It's _none_ of your business!" Kate bit off. "If we hadn't made up the misunderstanding we had he wouldn't have been here. End of story." And with that she opened the door and walked back to her desk, silently praying they would knock it off.

She was pleased to find Castle hadn't come back from getting lunch yet, thankful he wouldn't have witnessed the way her brothers walked back to their desks with grumpy attitudes. Once he did come back he'd also brought back a travel mug with her favorite coffee in it and, god, it was so good to finally have the taste back in her mouth. Kate tried to ignore the few looks her brothers gave them as they ate and continued to look at the evidence they had so far. Castle kept coming with theories, saying the story needed to make sense in order for the evidence to point them to the right killer.

"What if... what if the victim saw something he shouldn't, like a secret clown meeting, and the clowns then went after to kill him? Would explain the clown wig we found by the window," Castle interrupted her thoughts of what evidence they had so far and she couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping past her lips.

"No. You're crazy," she shook her head, and took the last bite of her food before throwing away the cartoon in the trash. "Besides, don't you think they would've made sure the wig wasn't at the crime scene?" she countered when he gave her a look saying 'it could be right'.

He narrowed his eyes with disappointment, "Don't ruin my story with your logic," he mumbled and she let go of a laughter a little too loud for her own liking. Eyes from around the precinct definitely glanced their way and she tried to put on her neutral detective face. She gave Castle a warning look that said 'don't you dare do that again', and turned back her eyes to the case files.

"Let's go talk to his coworkers, it says he had taken a personal day, maybe they'll know something," Kate said after a few minutes of silence and Castle immediately stood from the chair beside her desk.

"Lead the way, _Beckett_ ," he said and she rolled her eyes as she stood and turned her steps towards her elevator.

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _So, there's a total of 4 chapters left + an Epilogue. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of this story as much as you've enjoyed it so far. Love xxx_


	17. Chapter sixteen

_HAPPY (one-day-early) BIRTHDAY TO LAURA! Hope you'll have a great tomorrow!_

* * *

It took about a week and a half before her brothers started to fully accept Castle being there. It might've helped Elisabeth showing up one evening and showing just how much she liked having him around. Ryan had been the one to crack first, finding himself agreeing with one of Castle's theories. It had taken a bit longer for Esposito, and he still wasn't quite there, but he had started mocking and teasing Castle in a way Kate would almost dare describe as friendly. And of course Kate and Castle had had more family dinners, and both daughters were more than happy to hang out. Alexis even took Elisabeth out for shopping one day, promising Kate she would have the perfect eye on her peanut. She'd been so surprised to find Elisabeth coming home with a couple new clothes, knowing exactly how refrained she was from buying new things she didn't really, _really_ , want, and clothes were _never_ on her priority list unless she really _needed_ them. Elisabeth had later explained how she had tried not to accept it but Alexis had very insistingly bought the clothes for her, which Kate hadn't been shocked about at all considering her father. There had also been a stolen kiss or two. They hadn't really had enough privacy to actually talk about it, but the way it felt when their hands touched, when his lips were on hers, she didn't want it to stop.

His sudden chuckle had her eyes shifting towards the stairs, where he was just walking down again from checking on their daughters.

"They're fast asleep," he said low and she sighed with a smile on her lips.

"Maybe we should head home then," she said as he slumped down in the couch beside her.

"Don't be ridiculous, let her sleep over, you can sleep over too," he suggested, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Without hesitation she snuggled closer to his body, now that the girls were asleep she didn't feel it was as risky to get caught. Elisabeth knew, and Kate supposed Alexis did too, but they hadn't exactly had the talk about being open to them about their newfound relationship.

"We shouldn't," she replied as she felt his lips in her hair.

"But you don't want to leave," he mumbled and she sighed, because of course he was right.

She laid her head on his shoulder, her arm around his hip, literally showing him by actions how right he was. How had she even become this... clingy?

"We should talk though, we finally have some time to actually talk without curious ears just around the corner."

Her suggestion had him humming in agreement. "I want to take you out on a date," he said and she felt her heart skip a beat at that. "As in just the two of us, my mother could watch Alexis, and Liz if your dad can't take her. You know what, maybe they could even watch them together?" She couldn't help but chuckle at that thought.

"You really think they would be a match?" she questioned, pulling away enough to see his face.

"Who? Alexis and Liz? I think they already..."

"Nooo," she cut him off with a small chuckle. "My dad and your mom."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Would be a great way to find out, they can't exactly fight in front of our kids." She bit her lip and he gave her a reassuring look. "Hey, don't worry about that, you could think about what restaurant you want me to take you to instead," he leaned down and kissed her lips, making her cheeks blush from the tingling it evoked.

A small satisfying moan rumbled quietly from her throat, she parted her lips the second she felt his tongue brush her lower lip. His taste immediately made her mind feel dizzy and she felt her body fitting so well into his, a tingling going south starting from her heart. She wanted more, she wanted more of him, her whole body was electric with it. But the second she felt one of his hands going to her hip in a massaging manner she jerked away from him with her heart pounding hard. Her body was suddenly on the other side of the couch as she tried to catch her heaving breath, and she felt him looking at her with worry and confusion.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she mumbled and he shook his head immediately.

"No, no reason to be sorry! How are you? Are you okay? Did I do something wro..."

She cut him off with a breathless no, because _no_ he didn't do anything wrong. "I-ah... I haven't... Not since..." she struggled to get out the words, not sure how to say it, how to deliver one of her scars.

"Oh," he exclaimed and immediately made a slow, gentle move with his hand to lay it on top of hers, "don't worry about that, we can take it as slow as you want. There's no need to rush anything."

The smile growing on her lips was small but grateful, her fingers fiddling with his to tangle them together. "So, a date?"

"Mhmm, you choose the restaurant, doesn't matter how expensive it is," he smiled bright, already excited about their dinner.

Kate felt a bubbling in her belly and she couldn't understand how this man could make her feel so carefree and... well, happy. A part of her was just waiting for something to go terribly wrong, though. Just like last time when she finally opened up to him and everything went to hell. Of course, that had also been partially her fault, she hadn't thought of the fact that he was curious and always asking questions. She didn't like that feeling, the feeling of just waiting for something bad to happen, and so she snuggled into his body again. This time his arm landed around her body, hugging her close, and she could swear she felt his nose in her hair, taking deep breaths.

"Do you know you smell like cherries?" he whispered and she bit her lower lip.

"Maybe," she answered in a teasing tone.

He hummed and she closed her eyes, listening to his heart as hers beat in the same rhythm. Before she knew it she was slumbering with her cheek to his chest, hand draped over his belly.

"Sweet dreams," was the last she heard before she went completely under.

* * *

Waking up with her in his arms was better than he could've ever imagined. Castle had carried her into his bed after she'd been asleep for about half an hour last night, not wanting to wake her up. With his nose still in her hair he took deep breaths, breathing her in and trying to forge her scent into his memory. He laid like that for a few minutes, snuggled close to her, but decided he wanted to surprise her with breakfast, and so he gently moved away from her. She groaned a little and he froze, thinking he had woken her but to his relief she just snuggled closer to the pillow, snoozing. As quietly as he possibly could he tip toed out of his bedroom, through his office and then set his steps towards the fridge. Castle had just set his mindset at making pancakes when he heard small footsteps hit the staircase and thinking it was his pumpkin he didn't turn around but only greeted with a 'Good morning'.

"Morning," a sleepy voice said which definitely did _not_ belong to his pumpkin.

He turned around with a smile, seeing Elisabeth standing at the bottom of the stairs. The girl looked a bit awkward, as if she wasn't sure what to do. "You wanna help me make pancakes?" he suggested and the girl immediately lit up, nodding excitedly.

"Mom caught me trying to make pancakes once," she said as she came to his side. "It almost caught fire," she added in a mumble.

He chuckled, "Well, you got me for help now, so no fire," he winked at her and he saw her cheeks blushing as she grinned big.

They helped making the dough, Castle actually let her pour the ingredients, making sure she felt she was doing half of the fun. Once they started pouring out the dough in the pan he heard her drawing in a big breath and he gave her all his attention, waiting for her to say whatever she wanted to get off her chest.

"Castle," he couldn't help but internally chuckle at how her mother's nickname had stuck with her too but nodded for her to continue, "how come you never talk about your dad? You only ever mention your mom," she asked quietly, but it was also with a strong bold voice. Almost as if she'd thought about asking him many times but never really gotten the chance.

Castle took a second to think about what to answer before he actually opened his mouth. "Because I don't know him, my mother told me she met him one day and he was gone the next, why?"

He saw her bite her lip, a nervous habit she's picked up from her mother he assumed, little Beckett as adorable as the older.

"I don't know mine either. Does it ever get easier? Not knowing?" He raise his eyebrow and she added, "I mean, you don't seem to be upset about it."

"Well," he sighed, trying to think of a good response. He remembered Kate telling him about her asking about her father. He also remember what she told him about the past. "He can be anyone for all I know, he could be an astronaut, an adventurer or a spy!" he said with enthusiasm and the girl gave him a confused look so similar to her mother's. "You see, in my mind he can be anything, I can make him up to be anyone I want. And I don't need him because I got my mother, and now I have Alexis." He shrugged his shoulders, hoping to ease the pain for the little girl. "And I also got you and your mom now. Besides, I'm sure you have a lot of father figures already but, if you ever need any fatherly advise don't hesitate to call me," he added in a gentle tone, hoping the girl would find that enough to make peace with not knowing.

"Doesn't it hurt? Not knowing?" she asked, biting her cheek.

"Well, it did when I was your age, not knowing would tear me apart at times, you know me gotta know the whole story, but I came to realize it wasn't worth my energy."

Continuing with the pancakes he gave her a small smile and after a few minutes of processing his words Elisabeth opened her mouth again.

"You're right. I have mom, and she's the best."

He chuckled and glanced at her grinning face, "Agreed."

* * *

Kate woke up to the smell of pancakes and for a second she was worried her peanut had decided to try her luck in the kitchen again, but the second she opened her eyes and didn't recognize the bed nor the room she was in she quickly remembered: _they never went home last night_. She was surrounded by his scent and she wondered what the time was, glad she didn't have work she had to go to. For a second she wondered how she got to the bed from his couch but considering how gentle and kind he was he'd probably simply carried her there, not wanting to wake her. She snuggled closer to his pillow, taking one last deep breath filled with him before slowly removing herself from the bed. She was both surprised and glad she was still wearing her clothes since yesterday, he'd made sure she'd keep her privacy. He'd thought of the fact that even though giving her comfier clothes would've been considered sweet with most women, she wasn't one of them. Given her past she knew he was considerate of how to do things, especially after the hurt that had happened last time misunderstands were there. Kate brushed her fingers through her hair, seeing as she suspected he didn't have any brushes in his room. Maybe she could ask to borrow one from Alexis once she was up, and maybe her peanut would need it too. She walked up to the full-body mirror and assessed herself before heading towards the kitchen. Walking into his office she heard voices coming through the bookshelves acting like walls between the office and the kitchen, and it didn't take long for her to hear the voice of her daughter talking with Castle.

"I don't know mine either. Does it ever get easier? Not knowing?"

Kate froze at her daughter's words, _was she talking about not knowing her father?_ She was standing frozen listening to Castle humming while apparently thinking of what to say. She had the urge to walk in, stop her daughter from asking him questions he couldn't answer, but her feet wouldn't move. And when she heard his answer she got taken aback. She'd totally forgotten he actually _did_ have experience about it, he of all people might know exactly how her daughter feels.

"He can be anyone for all I know, he could be an astronaut, an adventurer or a spy!" the enthusiasm in his voice took her by surprise, had thought he'd give some sad comment on the matter. "You see, in my mind he can be anything, I can make him up to be anyone I want. And I don't need him because I got my mother, and now I have Alexis." He paused and Kate felt her heart beat even harder for him, he was doing his best not to let her daughter know how the father was most likely not at all a hero, let her have her own fantasy and drop the subject. He was trying to make it easier for her to live without knowing, because she did have other people around her who loved her. "And I also got you and your mom now. Besides, I'm sure you have a lot of father figures already but, if you ever need any fatherly advise don't hesitate to call me."

His gentle tone had her eyes fill with tears, he wanted to be there for her kid, he wanted them to be closer. Kate knew he was a good father, but this... this was not something she'd expected.

"Doesn't it hurt? Not knowing?"

Her peanut's hesitant, sad questions had her attention brought right back to the two people in the kitchen. Holding her breath she waited for the writer to answer.

"Well, it did when I was your age, not knowing would tear me apart at times, you know me gotta know the whole story, but I came to realize it wasn't worth my energy."

 _How could the fact that he was fatherless have slipped her mind?!_ Maybe that's a reason he had wanted her to do more, find out who did that to her the night all those years ago. If not for her than at least for Elisabeth. Maybe it hadn't been only his mouth running open without the filter of thinking before, his curious manner, but actually been him seeing himself in Elisabeth's unknowing mind. Kate wiped her tears from off her cheeks, slowly backing into the wall behind her for some support. She needed to collect herself before going out there, she couldn't let them know she'd heard them.

"You're right. I have mom, and she's the best," her peanut's voice was a lot more carefree and... relieved? than it had been when she first heard her talking just ten minutes earlier. Kate drew in a deep breath as quietly as she could, trying to mentally write down to thank him later on.

Castle chuckled and Kate leaned a little further, trying to see them through the bookshelves. The two were grinning at each other while making pancakes and his response to her peanut had her smiling with great love filling her chest for the man.

"Agreed."

Taking about five minutes to collect herself she knew she was giving them enough time to not suspect she'd heard it all. When she walked out there she had a sleepy smile on her face as she greeted the two with a simple 'Good morning'.


	18. Chapter seventeen

That day they went to Coney Island. Kate hadn't really thought they'd spend the whole day together, hadn't planned on falling asleep and staying over, but since they were there and honestly neither her or Elisabeth wanted to leave the Castles. Castle and Kate didn't get to be alone until they got to the amusement park, so she never got a chance to let him know she heard his advice to her kid. Once they got to the park though Alexis was quick to ask if Elisabeth and her could run off on their own, when Castle had pouted and saying he thought she had meant it when she said he was the 'cool dad'. Alexis had just laughed and said she loved him, kissed his cheek before giving an expecting and questioning look towards Kate who just laughed at his frown. She'd nodded and told them to keep their phones on them at all times, she wanted them to be able to contact each other if needed. She also told them to be safe, and call if anything seemed off. She wasn't as reluctant to let them go as she knew Alexis was more mature than her father, besides she had let them go shopping before so she couldn't exactly deny them this. After her peanut kissing her cheek the two girls were off, running towards the first roller coaster they'd laid their eyes on. Kate followed the redhead and brunette with her eyes until they got out of sight before turning to the man beside her, who's eyes had been trained on the kids as well.

"I thought I was the cool dad," he muttered and she couldn't help but laugh again, gently nudging his shoulder with hers as they started walking further into the park.

"Well, even if you're not you're a great one, even to my kid," she let it slip out, not sure what it really meant but wanting him to know she wanted him there for her. Because he really had been a great dad to her even if he hadn't acted as though he was hers.

He gave her a questioning look, his eyebrows high, "What do you mean?"

She bit her lip, smiling at the memory of the morning. "I heard you two this morning. How you told her about it not really mattering who her father is as long as she's got other people around her." Sighing she added with a small frown of her lips, "I totally forgot you knew how she felt. I'm sorry I didn't... it must've been hard for you hearing me just ignoring all the ways I could've found out who he was when your mom actually _had_ no way of knowing."

He shook his head, "I've come to peace with not knowing. Besides, like I told her, I can pretend he's anything I want. The reason he left my mom after their one night could've been because he's a spy and the world needed him in order not to blow up, James Bond style," he winked at her with that childish glimpse he always had in his eyes when he made up stories.

"Still, I should've thought of that before," she let her hand brush his as they walked and to her small surprise he immediately snatched her hand to tangle his fingers with her. "Anyway, thanks for giving her some of your peace."

He smiled at her and pulled her with him so they stood out of the way for people wanting to pass by. The second they stood still his free hand cupped her face and kissed her, spreading a warmth to her face as she blushed because... _they were in public_. And she had never allowed herself to be this open, this exposed. It was such a new feeling, freedom, and of course she kissed him back. His lips always so gentle and exciting, spreading electricity through her veins and filling her belly with butterflies. They pulled away and she giggled, she _actually giggled_. She hadn't done that since... well, since she was a kid.

"Always," he smiled, and then he got a big grin spreading across his face, his childishness returning. "Ooh, and when do you want to go on the date? When's your next day off?" he asked excitedly.

"Uhm, my next complete day off will be Sunday next week unless there's a body drop," his excitement was carefully passing over and into her. Her whole being bubbly with the exciting fact that he wanted to take her out on a date, a _real_ date.

"Then Saturday it is," he said with a small bounce in his knees. "Do you know which restaurant you want to go to?"

She chuckled, "No, I don't really know any."

"Okay, well, we'll see then... let's go ride the biggest roller coaster we can find!"

He took her hand and pulled her with him as he set his steps towards the ride. She shook her head, he was such a child sometimes and she couldn't believe she was falling in love with him. Then again she had been falling for a long time now. Even though she tried tell him how childish he was and that she, as a serious detective, would _not_ go on a roller coaster unless it was with her kid, he didn't let her get out of it that easily. His hand holding hers with his fingers constantly sending tingles through her skin with his small circles had her agreeing before she knew it. He kept stealing kisses during the day, kept kissing her cheeks, her hand, her lips. Once they had gone on a few of the rides, checked up with their daughters by tracking their phones and staying where the two kids couldn't see them, they ended up walking alongside the shore between the beach and the ocean. It was so peaceful, even though the screams and laughters could be heard in the distance, and she rolled her eyes at how pathetic she felt.

"What?" he asked and she glanced at him to see he was watching her.

She shook her head. "You're turning me into this sappy love-stricken person it's pathetic, I'm pathetic," she didn't think before she said it, didn't think before she uttered the l-word. They weren't th... they _shouldn't_ be there yet. _Then why did it feel so right?_

"You could never be pathetic," he countered with a sure look. "You're too strong for that."

She huffed at that, but was glad he hadn't said anything about her practically saying she was in love with him.

"You are! If anyone's pathetic it's me," he offered and she suddenly laughed, nodding.

"That's true."

"Hey! I didn't mean it was okay for you to laugh at me for it!" he exclaimed and she just laughed. "I'm warning you," he said in a lower voice, apparently meaning to sound threatening.

"Or what? You gonna write me an angry letter?" she mocked with a laugh before suddenly letting go of a scream when his hand had quickly left hers to join his other around her body, picking her up and running into the water.

Before she knew it he had dropped down on his knees and therefore dipped them both so the water was up to their necks.

"What the hell are you doing!" she yelled out and he just laughed, holding her tight to him.

"Revenge."

She could feel him shrugging his shoulders and she gave him a pointed look which had him smirking before his lips were suddenly on hers, kissing her softly. If she had been standing her knees would've given up at the way his lips had her body melting, all she wanted to do was melt into him. Her hands found their way around his head, fingers threading through his hair. The kiss grew deeper as her breathing got faster, heavier, everything in sync with the beating of her heart. His tongue was dancing with hers, his taste filling her mouth and when she needed air his lips travelled to her neck, immediately kissing, nipping and sucking on her skin.

"Rick!" she gasped his name at the sensations he made her feel. She'd had no idea this was what it felt like, no idea the books she read had described it so perfectly yet not enough.

Her body was heating up, even though the water was trying to cool it down. Castle was slowing down again, probably very much aware of how in public they were and also aware of the walls she still had. No matter how much her body and mind told her yes there was still a small part of her that said and reacted with a loud NO. He kissed her lips one more time before planting his forehead against hers as their panting breaths mixed between them.

"I can't believe you dragged me out into the sea, our clothes are all wet," she groaned when he started moving back into shore, suddenly realizing the reality of their whereabouts and how the hot make out session started.

He chuckled, "I told you not to laugh at me."

"Well, this isn't funny," she hit his chest, playful yet serious.

"It's not? I think it is," he teased, finally reaching the beach and slowly letting her go to put her back on her feet.

"No, now we need to go home... well, we need to try and find dry clothes first," she turned back towards the amusement park.

"I'm sure we can find something," he assured, taking her hand into his again. "But first we should find the girls."

She shook her head to try and contain her smile, "You're pathetic, you know that?" Her teasing tone was enough to make him chuckle again and she couldn't stop but let her fingers tangle with his as they set their feet towards their daughters.

Thanks to their phones, and the tracking Kate made sure she always could use to find her peanut, it didn't take more than ten minutes before they found the girls watching a roller coaster as they held one ice cream each in their hands.

"Hey! What have I told you about getting sweets without asking?!" Kate called out in a fake scold, watching her daughter jerk and turn around at the sudden sound of her mother so near her.

"That I shouldn't be caught," she sighed and stuck out her tongue at her mother.

"No, that if you get caught you need to share," Kate said as serious as she could without breaking her lips into a smile.

Her daughter rolled her eyes, a perfect replica on Kate's own eye-roll, and held out her ice cream for her mother to taste the sweet.

"Mmm, good choice," Kate nodded her content, proud of her daughter's choice.

The two Becketts smiled at each other and while they did Castle couldn't help but admire the relationship between the mother and daughter.

"Why are you guys wet?" Alexis suddenly asked and the two grownups looked down at their clothes.

"Yeah, your father had a _marvelous_ idea to push me into the water," Kate grunted with another famous eye-roll.

"Why am I not surprised?" Alexis asked, giving her father a narrowed look before she shook her head with a small laughter coming out her mouth.

"And you let him?" Elisabeth asked with a voice filled with a wonder Kate couldn't help but get suspicious of.

"Well, I didn't exactly _let_ him, I would never _let_ anyone do this," she said confidently.

"Buuut you let _him_ ," her peanut said with a confidence and a grin Kate didn't quite understand.

She felt the eyes of the writer on her and she quickly glanced his way only to see his curious look, probably interested in what the hell her daughter was leaning onto. Narrowing her eyes at her peanut she halfway begged her to let it go but before she could say anything else the teen opened her mouth instead.

"Come on, I think I saw a stand with clothes that way," she pointed past them, "because I have a feeling you two cannot get into the car like that." The redhead gave them a questioning look and the two adults agreed.

Elisabeth didn't hesitate to take her mother's hand as they followed Alexis towards the stand she'd apparently found earlier. To all their relief they found clothes, _normal_ clothes, that fit them and they also bought a bag in which they put all their wet clothes once they had changed.

"Soo, mom? Can we get hot dogs before we go home?" Elisabeth asked as soon as Kate came out of the bathroom, where she'd changed her clothes.

"Sure, if Castle and Alexis is up for it, otherwise we'll have to choose between no hot dogs or taking the train home."

To her amusement she immediately watched her daughter turning to the writer with the biggest puppy eyes she could find. Kate hid her smile behind her hand as she watched Castle's eyes go soft and agreeing that 'sure, they could go for a hot dog or two'.

Alexis had shaken her head, "You're so easy dad, you know that right?" And the comment had Kate looking away in order not to start laughing.

"What?" Castle asked with the most clueless expression Kate had ever seen.

The two girls started laughing and Kate continued to hide hers behind her hand as Elisabeth started tugging her hand while Alexis took her father's in order to drag them towards the hot dog stand. Kate couldn't help but wonder how the two girls had grown so close in such a short time, but then again, so had she and Rick.


	19. Chapter eighteen

Kate let the hot water wash down her body as she tried to keep taking normal breaths, keep herself calm because, really, she had nothing to be worried about. _Yet still she was._ She washed the past week out of her hair, replacing it with the scent of her cherry shampoo. It had been a long week with a hard case, they had found a woman, all frozen and apparently she'd been dead for about five years. Melanie Kavanaugh. Kate sighed as she thought about the woman who had been murdered by her husband while her two daughters were watching television in the other room, completely oblivious to the fact that they were becoming motherless in right those seconds. Their father told them their only mother had run away, because she had apparently done that in the past, and the police had listened to him. The cops on the case had simply written it off as a runaway mother, never really looking into the happenings... just like the cops on her own mother's case. Melanie's case had bitten a bit too close to home, and she knew Castle had seen it, so she'd told him about it. Told him how she lost her mom, how she, her dad and Elisabeth had gone to a restaurant and waited but her mom had never arrived. She told home how she had almost lost herself in her case once she'd turned detective, that the only thing keeping her above and reminding her she needed to let it go was her own daughter needing her as _her_ mom. Standing in the shower she tried to let all those feelings run off her like the water. She wasn't really feeling up for the date, wasn't as excited anymore, but when Castle had suggested they'd raincheck she'd determinedly told him she _needed_ this evening thinking about anything but the case. With another sigh she turned off the water and walked out of the shower, drying herself with her towel. Why couldn't the case just _... go away!_ She had thought the shower and nerves for tonight would've washed it away. Putting on her underwear and a robe she started fixing on her makeup, deciding to let her hair dry on its own to get those curly locks she knew would appear without her needing to do anything. When she was finishing up the last touches, putting on lipgloss she hadn't used in ages, her peanut knocked on the door and came inside.

"Wow," Elisabeth's eyes were wide open as she took her in.

"What?" Kate suddenly wondered if she'd accidentally smudged something and turned back to the mirror to look at herself.

"Mom, you look beautiful," the girl stated in a voice not much louder than a whisper.

Kate felt her cheeks go hot with embarrassment. "Thanks peanut."

"Castle's gonna faint."

The grin on her daughter was definitely contagious and Kate couldn't help but chuckle at her comment. "No, he's not," she took one last look in the mirror before putting away her makeup and walking into their bedroom, Elisabeth right on her heels. Her peanut walked past her and sat down on their bed, eyes on Kate as she started looking through her clothes. After choosing a purple squared shirt and jeans she heard her daughter groan in disappointment, so she turned to her and gave her a questioning look.

"You can't go on a date with work clothes mom, _you can't_ ," she argued and Kate rolled her eyes.

"This is not 'work clothes', this is clothes."

"Which you wear to work," Elisabeth cut her off while palming her face, a move she herself might've done one too many since she met the writer. Especially considering her daughter was copying it now. "You should wear a dress. Lanie told you you should wear that black dress she bought you for your birthday."

Of course this was Lanie's doing. _She should be proud I'm wearing that goddamn thong she bought me_ , Kate cursed her best friend.

"Liz, I'm not in the mood for fancy clothes, and honestly I don't think he will either."

"Mooom, he's a famous writer, he's going to take you somewhere fancy, you _should_ be in a dress," her whine had Kate's heart thumping hard.

What if she was right? What if Castle had decided to take her to a fancy restaurant despite the week she'd had? She suddenly started regretting the fact she'd insisted on she was still up for date night, and somehow her daughter could see that.

"No, mom, I'm sorry, go as you are! He's gonna faint no matter what you wear, he's gonna be too busy admiring your makeup!"

She bit her lip and nodded, _yeah,_ she was not up to a dress. Kate kept the robe on as she put on the jeans, hiding the fact that she was wearing a thong from her daughter because there was no way her nine year old needed to know what she was wearing underneath her pants.

"Besides, you let him throw you in the water last week."

Kate buttoned the jeans before she snapped around with a narrowed look. "I didn't _let_ him do it, he just did," she once again defended herself but the girl only grinned with all her teeth showing.

"No, you _let_ him, if it had been anyone else you would've made sure he never even got to lift you up," her peanut made a valid point Kate hadn't really thought about.

Kate only hummed, giving up because, of course, her daughter was right. Had it been Esposito or Ryan or anyone else she would've made sure to break one of their arms before they even got her _near_ the water. Disposing the robe she put on her shirt when she suddenly heard a familiar knock on the door, one she'd heard ever since she was a kid.

"Granpa!" Elisabeth called out excitedly as she ran towards the apartment door.

As she buttoned her shirt she followed her peanut. Elisabeth opened the door to indeed reveal the man she'd called out for.

"He-ey peanut!" Jim said as he caught the girl in a hug.

"Hi dad!" Kate said as she leaned in too to join in on the hug, getting a peck on her cheek from her dad.

It didn't take long before her father and her daughter was out the door again, saying goodbye to Kate as they started talking about all the things they were going to do. Kate had been surprised when both Jim and Martha had agreed to take the girls out on a theatre that was in town, but was definitely not going to question it. After the performance Elisabeth was going to follow her father home and Alexis was going back to the loft with Martha. Kate went back into the bedroom and looked around until she found her phone and her purse, trying to figure out if there was something she needed that she hadn't thought of yet. Deciding she didn't need much more than her keys, her phone and money she was on her way back to the living room when she heard another knock at her door. She felt her lips pull up in a smile as her heart started pumping faster again, knowing exactly who was standing on the other side of the door. Opening the door she was greeted by the writer and a bunch of purple lilies held out for her.

"I know it's cheesy but I couldn't _not_ stop by and get you flowers," he said, eyes looking down with a slight blush set on his cheeks.

Kate reached out to accept them, already feeling her soul get warm by his gentle gesture. "Thanks, they're beautiful."

That's when he looked up and she immediately saw his blue eyes sparkle with admiration.

"Not as beautiful as you," he commented and she bit her lip.

As so many times before they froze, as if they both wanted the moment to last for a lifetime, their eyes searching each others. For what no one would ever know, or if they even searched for anything at all. Perhaps it was just the feeling of looking into each other's souls that had them stopping for a moment, taking it in before the moment was over. Kate was the one to interrupt the moment, saying she needed to put the flowers in a vase first and then they could go. It wasn't until she was done with the flowers that she turned around and found him right there behind her, reaching to cup her face and place his lips over hers. The kiss was sweet, a simple 'hi', but even a kiss like that had Kate's heart thumping and her body tingling with a feeling she could only describe as... well, love. When they pulled away she couldn't help but let her lips pull up in a big smile.

"Hi," Castle greeted with a small, satisfied sigh.

"Hi," she breathed out, biting her lip again.

He stole them again, her lips, in another kiss before he pulled away to take her hand in his. "Ready to go?" he asked and she nodded, letting him pull her with him as they walked out the door. Once out in the city air Kate snuggled in closer to Castle's side as they walked down the street.

"So, where to?" she asked carefully.

"It's a surprise," he answered and she suddenly felt a small lump in her belly.

"Am I underdressed?"

Castle gave her a look, his eyebrows up slightly in surprise. "Of course not, you're gorgeous."

One sentence was all it took, one sentence and her cheeks turned redder than ever before. How could he make her blush so intensely? She wasn't a teenager anymore for god's sake!

"Besides, I thought we could both use something ordinary today," he added with a gentle smile on his lips, his eyes twinkling with such kindness she was sure he'd understood her feelings after the hard case were nowhere easy.

She let him steer her away, let him choose where to go and how fast they would go there.

* * *

Opening up the door for her he felt his heart skip a beat at the happiness showing all across her face. She looked absolutely beautiful and he couldn't believe they were on a _date_. _They were on a date!_ Finally.

" _Remy's_ ," it almost sounded like a giggle and he grinned at the delight in her voice. "You're taking me to _Remy's_ for our first date," she turned to him with a tug on his hand. "You really are full of surprises sometimes."

He grinned even bigger at that, his eyes locking onto her hazels. He bent down and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek before gently pushing her into the direction of a booth in the back. They sat down, rounding the table so they could sit beside each other, and it didn't take long before a waitress came and took their order. Two cheeseburgers with fries, a vanilla milkshake for Kate and a chocolate one for Castle. Castle was grateful he'd, the day before, decided they should go somewhere not too fancy, somewhere he knew she'd like. So the day before he'd actually seeked out the help of the two brothers she had in her job. The two detectives had had a hard time to accept him in the beginning but after only have been with them for a couple of days he'd found out it was all due to the protectiveness they felt towards their sister. They just simply didn't want to see her hurt, and he respected that. Honestly, he wouldn't want to have it any other way. Anyhow the two detectives had immediately told him about _Remy's_ and how it was one of Kate's favorite go-to places when she wanted a good hamburger. They'd also told him she didn't really fancy all those five star restaurant, had always found them a tad too extravagant.

It didn't take long for the two of them to eat their burgers, but they took their time with the fries, eating one at a time to be able to sit and talk at the same time. Kate couldn't stop looking at him with her eyes filled with gratefulness. She couldn't quite believe he'd done this for her. He was a famous writer and could've taken her to any restaurant in the city but had chosen to keep her in mind and taken her to one that didn't make her feel like she belong. Surprisingly he'd also chosen one of her favorite places.

"How did you decide _Remy's_?"

"Huh?" he slurped on his chocolate milkshake, his eyes set on her.

"Of all places you could've taken me to, you chose my favorite."

Smiling he winked at her, "Called a friend. Or two," he added with a shrug and she leaned forward to peck his lips.

"Thanks."

He smiled and pecked her lips back, "Always."

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _There's only one more chapter and then it's the epilogue, hope you've all enjoyed the ride as much as I have! xxx_


	20. Chapter nineteen

_This chapter is the biggest reason this story is rated M. Just a fair warning ;) Enjoy!_

* * *

They strolled around in a park not far away from her apartment. Kate had suggested they'd go home but Castle had convinced her their date couldn't be over quite yet, saying something about wanting to do something with her he hadn't done in forever. When she'd asked what it was she had chuckled when he answered something in style with 'Walking in the park under the moonlight'. To her surprised he had actually checked in the calendar and had, earlier in the week, seen it was going to be full moon that night. So, not really knowing how to argue against that, Kate agreed to walk in the park under the moonlight. Their hands were tangled and she hadn't known how much she would enjoy it until they actually walked there. He was beautiful under the moonlight, the shadows and the light around them was kind of angelic and she had a feeling he could see her delight all over her face. She couldn't deny she absolutely loved this, had no idea she ever could love something so easy. Simple. It was so easy for her to like him, pretty simple for her to fall for him.

"You know," he interrupted her thoughts. "Some tales says werewolves don't need the full moon to change, though they do prefer the full moon due to the light it provides."

His random fact had her cracking up in a small laughter. "What does that have to do with anything?" she questioned and he only gave her a grin.

"Nothing, just thought you should know," he smirked and she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, and did you know that in some myths a bite from a vampire can kill a werewolf and the other way around?"

"Why the sudden interest of werewolves and vampires?" she chuckled, looking at him with curiosity.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Saw the moon and thought about them that's all."

She shook her head with the smile still bright on her lips. "You're crazy."

"Crazy about you."

Her head snapped towards him and she could see by his big eyes that wasn't something he had planned on letting pass his lips. She tugged his hand to stop them from walking, turning so they stood face to face. She let her free hand come up and gently stroke his cheek, the skin smooth due to the shaving he'd most likely done before he came to pick her up for their date. Standing onto her toes she let her forehead lean against his, their noses touching lightly. Her eyes closed as she took in a small breath, preparing herself to tell him the same.

"I'm crazy about you too," she whispered close to his mouth, so close their lips brushed against one another.

That was apparently all he need to once again steal her lips that evening, lips brushing before he carefully asked permission with his tongue nudging her lips apart. His taste made her mind spin, as it always did, and she wondered for a short second if the feeling was mutual. Did he always get as dizzy as she did whenever they kissed or was that just her? She felt her hand let go of his to join the other behind his head, her fingers playing with the hair in his neck which resulted in a shiver going down his body. His hands landed carefully on her hips, pulling her closer to his body and she felt her knees weaken as the kiss got deeper. She pulled away when air was a necessity, but kept their forehead together, their noses touching as their breaths mixed in between them. The night had been absolutely perfect, their date just the right amount out of ordinary, yet so perfectly normal. And she wanted it all to end just as perfect, as them. She wanted them to take the step she hadn't done in _years_. Because she felt safe with him, he wasn't out to hurt her. He would rather protect her than let anything else happen to her. With teeth showing in the small smile on her lips she let her hands go down through his chest to his hands, tugging them towards her as she started walking for her apartment.

"Come home with me," she whispered when he lifted his eyebrow a little in question.

It took them only ten minutes before they stumbled into her apartment, their lips fused together in a heated kiss that Kate had, _oh so innocently,_ started in the elevator. She let him close the door with her body, pressing his into hers by the door, and when she broke free to suck in air his lips travelled to her neck. Her heart jumped at the sudden tingling feeling shooting down from where his lips was kissing. There was no stopping the moan coming out her lips when he found a spot between her neck and shoulder, a spot she had no idea could send such arousal through her body. She could feel his own arousal against her waist and she pulled up her leg to hook it around his hip, automatically pulling him closer to her. With no clue at all as to what she was really doing she started grinding against him and she felt his lips halt with a groan vibrating her skin. She suddenly felt his hands glide down her body to behind her thighs, lifting her up onto his body. Their lips found each other again, their tongues quickly following and Kate couldn't stop the smile from pulling her lips apart from his.

"You know where the bedroom is?" she whispered with her tongue sticking out through her slightly parted lips.

His eyes sparkled with something darker and she felt her insides get filled with static of excitement. Once in the bedroom he gently put her down on the bed but to her disappointment he didn't follow but stayed in between her legs at the edge of the bed. Looking up at him she couldn't place what his eyes were telling her, they were still dark, still in awe of her but there was something more, something delicate.

"What?" she asked, placing her hands on his hips to pull him closer.

She let her hands travel to his back, clutching them together behind him as she waited for his answer.

"I don't want to do anything you're not ready for," his voice was just a whisper and his blues showed her admiration and a deep care for her.

Kate smiled as she carefully let her hands move inside his shirt, hands connecting to the naked skin of his back. "I'm ready," she told him and when she saw his hesitation she added, "as long as we take it slow."

His lips gently turned into a small smile. "Okay," he whispered, his hands cupping her face and gently angling her face up so he could lean down and put his lips onto hers. The kiss was slow, much more intimate than Kate ever thought a simple kiss could be. She carefully started backing up on the bed, her hand fisting his shirt in order to pull him with her. To her delight he didn't hesitate following this time and not too soon he was carefully laying his body on top of hers as she gently fell down to her back. His lips started going down to her neck again, and she gasped when he hit that spot between her neck and shoulder he'd found earlier. He sucked her skin into his mouth and she had to bite her tongue in order to keep a scream from leaving her lips. A feeling told her she was going to have a hickey in that spot the next morning. His teeth nibbled at her skin and she was sure he could feel the shiver going down her spine.

"You sure?" his whisper was almost too quiet for her to hear but thanks to him being so close to her ear she didn't miss it, despite the dizziness his lips evoked in her mind.

"I'd stop you if I wasn't," she said in a promising tone, and not a second later she felt his body go down on her.

At first she got afraid he thought she didn't want it anymore but before she could try reassure him his fingers fiddled with her shirt, carefully lifting it enough for his lips to connect right below her belly button. Her breathing hitched and she cursed under her breath, feeling his lips tickle her in a way that wasn't child play-ish at all but _oh so much more heated_. As his hands travelled upwards, slowly revealing her bare skin underneath, his lips travelled the same way. His small kisses had her body squirming and he only stopped at her navel in order to dip his tongue in it and _god what was that feeling?!_ She felt as though her body was slowly turning on fire, electricity flowing through her veins each time his lips touched her skin. When he reached her boobs he continued kissing her as if there weren't any material in between them. She pulled her arms up and lifted her upper body when he tugged the shirt off of her. The second it was off her head his lips crashed back on hers, nipping her lower as she kissed him back with a feverish passion. Their lips parted and their tongues battled for dominance, a fight Kate had never really done but was much more arousing than she thought it could be. The arousal going straight down her abdomen, wishing he would touch her there too. When they both needed air he pulled away enough to be able to look down at her, observing her like he always did. His blues were filled with an admiration she didn't quite understand.

"You're beautiful," he breathed out, making her cheeks hot with the blush he brought out.

She bit back her response of him having too many clothes on, instead she let her hands travel to his chest to start unbuttoning his shirt. He helped her get off his shirt and once it was she just had to pull herself up to kiss above his heart, feeling how rapid the beat of his heart was. _He was as excited for this as she was_. When her back again landed against the sheets his lips connected with hers once more as his hand sent electricity into her sides with his smoothing touches, his fingers traveling up and down her skin. She shivered time and time again thanks to his devilish fingers. They sneaked behind her back and before she could think about it he had unclasped her bra, and with careful, trembling fingers he took it off her. His eyes locked with hers, as if he was asking permission, and she kissed his lips with a hum vibrating her throat. Their lips parted ways and his landed on her right breast, his mouth kissing around the edges first, making her arch her back into him. He worked his way around her nipple before taking it into his mouth to circle it with his tongue and she squirmed under his ministrations. He was drawing out noises from her lips she'd never made before, noises that was pure erotic and she had a feeling he would be the only one to ever hear them. She didn't know where to put her hands, she just knew she needed to hold something, and so she let them one of them fist the sheets of the bed while the other one started massaging his scalp, making him groan and _god those vibrations_. He paid equal attention to her left breast as his own hands once again went down her skin, to her waist, and started fiddling with the button and zipper of her pants.

"Castle," she breathed out, feeling the need to say his name and he suddenly stopped, his mouth traveling up to her ear.

"You want to stop?" he whispered and she shook her head violently.

"Hell no," she exclaimed followed by a moan when his lips sucked just below her ear.

She was grateful for him constantly making sure she wanted it, especially considering she had asked him to take it slow. He knew what had happened to her last time she did something like this and he was definitely being gentle. His fingers teased at the hem of her thong and she felt her belly shiver at his closeness. She turned her head, chasing his mouth with hers and gasped into his mouth when his fingers suddenly dipped into her thong. He took advantage of her gasp, letting his tongue find hers, rubbed them together as his fingers explored her arousal, slipping up and down her sex. She couldn't stop the whimpering from coming out her mouth and once she could swear his fingers were coated with her arousal he started slipping one finger slowly into her and she felt her heart pumping faster.

"Oh, god," she gasped into his mouth and she felt his lips pull up in a smile, resulting in their kiss breaking off.

"You're so wet Kate," he carefully added another finger and she tried biting her lower lip to keep the noises from slipping out of her mouth. But they wouldn't be stopped, and even though she felt halfway embarrassed she was also very proud of how he could take her apart so completely.

After a few strokes in and out of her she felt his fingers leave her thong and she let go of a disappointed groan. Opening her eyes, she hadn't realized she'd closed them, she was staring into his darkened blues as he put his fingers in his mouth, licking off her arousal with a big grin of satisfaction entering his eyes. Her hands got a life of their own then, going straight for his pants to start tugging at his belt, opening it to be able to work on his button and zipper. They helped each other pull off the other one's pants, leaving the undergarments for now and Kate could see Castle's eyes go big when they landed on the thong she had on.

"I didn't think..." he started and Kate blushed hard, her whole body heating up more than it already was.

"Lanie can be a pain in the ass but she's right sometimes," she interrupted him and he smirked at her.

"Sometimes, yeah," he nodded and before she could comprehend anything he bent down and kissed her over the little material covering her from his gaze.

She screamed out in surprise, his lips moving against her and his tongue sticking out to taste her through her thong. Panting hard she gripped the sheets to try and balance herself. Her hips kept moving without her consent and she felt his lips moving to the inside of her thighs, kissing and nipping before his fingers took a hold of the last material on her body to slip it, slowly, down her legs. It was so much more erotic than she ever thought it could be and the fresh air suddenly hitting her arousal had her whimpering. He was kissing his way back up when she stopped him with a whimpering 'wait' and he looked up at her with immediate worry, probably thinking she was starting to regret anything. _Not a chance_.

"Next time," she panted, "I want _you_."

His worry immediately disappeared and was replace by a big but gentle smile. He crawled backwards to put his feet on the ground, taking off his boxers and reached into his pants to take out a condom and roll it onto his length. Carefully he crawled back up on the bed but was careful not to really touch her until she reached around his head to tangle her fingers into his hair and pull him to her, their lips clashing together in another heated kiss. His arousal met hers and he slid against her, making her moan into his mouth, before he let his hand go down between them.

"You still sure?" he asked against her lips.

"Yes," she answered and he placed himself at her entrance, slowly sliding himself home.

The two moaned as they became one. Both were so worked up it wouldn't take long before they came. Castle was as gentle as he could, considerate of making it as enjoyable for Kate as possible. He wanted this to replace whatever memory she might have from that night all those years ago. Even if she said she didn't remember much he knew she'd woken up with a bad feeling, and he was hoping she would wake up the next day with a much more satisfied feeling than back then. Hoped he could show her that making love wasn't bad when being in it with the right person. He moved in and out of her in slow strokes, making sure she felt good at all times. He kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts, and when he started feeling her tightening around her, feeling her closing in on her orgasm, he let his hand go down between them to stroke circles onto her clit. She cried out in bliss and he quickly followed, continuing his thrusts to prolong both their highs. When he started feeling his body weaken he pulled out of her and rolled to the side, his eyes never leaving her though. Her eyes were closed as she tried to catch her breath and he couldn't stop looking at her. _She's so beautiful_. And she hadn't hesitated once, unlike him. After she'd shrugged back the last time it got a little heated he had thought she wouldn't be able to go through with it, thought it'd be too soon for her to let her in so completely. He had thought they'd do it in like steps, tonight at most maybe getting to a half naked state, and the next time go a little further but not by much. So he'd never thought they'd go as far as actually making love. After their heartbeats slowed down along with their breathing he watched as her eyes opened in search for hers, her cheeks blushing the second she met his eyes and noticed he'd been watching her the whole time.

"What?" she asked in a whisper and he smiled at her.

"You're beautiful," he said with a sated voice which evoked a giggle starting in her chest.

"You've already said that," she pulled her lower lip into her mouth to bite it.

"Doesn't mean it isn't true."

Kate could feel his eyes stay on her as she hid her face within her hands, trying to hide her blush. After a few seconds of silence, of hiding, she felt one of his hands carefully smooth onto her belly and she spread her fingers to sneak a look at him. He'd laid his head onto her pillow, his body closer than before, and his fingers were gently smoothing across her belly in a soothing matter. She let her own hands join his on her belly, one grabbing his hand in order to pull it up to her lips. Kissing his hand she saw his eyes glimpse with love.

"I need to borrow the bathroom," he said with a small pout, leaning closer to kiss her naked shoulder before raising from the bed.

She watched him go, watched as he picked up his boxers to take them with him into the bathroom. She bit her lip and crawled to the end of the bed in order to steal his shirt from the floor. In order to put it on she raised from the bed and went to her bureau to take out a new pair of panties, putting them on as well. Then she returned to the bed, hearing the door to her bathroom opening the second she was lying down again.

"You stole my shirt," he stated and when she looked at him he was grinning.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't need it."

He joined her on the bed, and as soon as he was on his back she crawled closer to him. Snuggling into his bare chest.

"I could definitely get used to this."

She turned up to look at him. "To what?"

"You. Snuggled into me with my shirt on, it's kinda hot."

She chuckled while shaking her head. "You're not so bad yourself Castle."

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _Thank you all for reading this story of mine. Next chapter will be an epilogue._


	21. Epilogue

"Moooom!"

Kate turned at her daughter's voice, seeing her teenager emerge from the beach house with determined steps. The teen was slowly and very quickly turning into a copy of herself, the walk very similar to the one she herself had when pursuing a suspect. Castle had multiple times teased the two for doing the same eye roll and crossing their arms exactly the same at exactly the same time too many times for her to count. It was something he would especially do when they were rolling their eyes at something he did. During the past few years even Alexis had picked up on the small gestures but according to Castle it wasn't as fun to point that out since Alexis had her red hair and didn't look like Kate physically. Before she could raise from her chair where she'd worked on her tan her peanut stood in front of her with her arms crossed and Kate looked up at her with question.

"What?"

"Dad said it's real," Elisabeth said with her nose wrinkling in disgust.

"What's real?" Kate couldn't help but chuckle at the look her daughter had on her face.

"The scene where Nikki and Rook does it while..."

Her peanut didn't get to say anything more before Kate cut her off with a; "What?!" Elisabeth jerked back at the power of her mother's voice. "It's _fiction_ Liz, your dad writes _fiction_." Kate refused to admit that perhaps it had been... real... _but there was no need for her peanut to know that!_

"I know! But he does take inspiration from you and your cases," Elisabeth shot back and Kate's eyes were wide.

 _She's going to kill him_. She started pushing herself up from the chair, her daughter immediately calling her out in a warning as she dived to help her mother.

"Where is he?" Kate insisted the second she was on her feet and Elisabeth knew better than to get in the way of her pregnant mother, her finger immediately pointing towards the big house.

Kate started staggering up towards the house, her daughter at her heel and she hated how everyone kept treating her like she was the most fragile thing in their presence. She had been pregnant before goddamnit! She didn't need protection! Her daughter stopped following her the second she was in the house, probably figuring she couldn't trip and fall when on a flat surface, and Kate set her feet towards the office where she figured her husband was. Walking up the stairs was starting to turn into a workout and she was so thankful she still made sure to stay in form thanks to her job, even if the writer had managed talking her into a maternity leave. Speaking of the writer, he's exactly where she'd thought he'd be.

" _What the hell Castle?!_ " Kate hissed and she watched her husband jump in his seat, not at all having heard her come in. Or maybe he'd been so into the writing he was doing that he hadn't heard even if she'd stomped her way there.

"What?" his voice was so small and hadn't she been pissed at him she would've found it quite fun how easily she could make him squirm.

His blues were displaying a fear that he'd done something wrong. _He's damn right he did something wrong_.

"You can't tell peanut the sex scenes are real, _are you out of your mind_?!" she kept her voice low but couldn't stop the screaming from entering her tone.

His eyes went wide and then she could see how he started chewing on his cheek. "I-ah," he started but clenched his jaw shut again. It looked like he was trying to come up with a good enough response but after a few minutes of her glaring at him his shoulders went up in shame. "I'm sorry. She ambushed me, she knows I can't think clearly when I write."

Kate run her hand through her hair, trying to calm down. It wasn't often he said the apology first, he saved his apologies for when they truly mattered and this was one of those moments. She could never stay mad at him for too long, not since they had started dating. Sure, they'd had their fights, but it had never taken longer than a day away from him before she wasn't mad at him any longer. She loved him too much. The only thing she could be thankful for was that it took even less for him. He couldn't stay mad at her for the life of him.

"Why would you even confess it? I don't understand," she said, closing the door behind her before walking up to him.

"I think she started asking about one of the undercover situations, and when I'd told her that was completely how it happened she said something about if Nikki and Rook's private time was true as well... oh god," he put his hands over his face as he recalled what their daughter had asked him about.

"Whaat?" Kate encouraged with a stern voice.

"I told her of course it was, that most of the scenes between Nikki and Rook were based on the two of us," he groaned, "I didn't mean it that way, I didn't... I hadn't connected she was talking about the sex scenes."

Kate slumped down on the couch in his office, where she often found herself seated when he had written a couple chapters and could give her a tease. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. He was right, their daughter _knew_ she'd get the truth out of him when he was writing. Kate had used that many times to get his honest opinion on things and she knew her peanut had figured that out as well. If she wasn't completely wrong she even thought Alexis had told her sister that was the case, that if she ever wanted the truth out of their dad she should carefully ask him while he was writing. Kate felt the couch dip down beside her and it didn't take long before she felt his hand carefully nudging her hand. She let him take it, let their fingers link together as she let go of a sigh and turned her head towards him, opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry," his blue eyes as honest as they could ever be and the corner of her lips pulled up a little.

"I know."

His eyes sparkled with the relief he felt and when he leaned down she lifted her head to meet him halfway, their lips so smooth and loving against each other. They parted their lips simultaneously and it didn't take another second before their tongues started the familiar dance. Kate couldn't believe the dizziness that took over her mind. Six years and he still made her feel so incredibly happy, made her mind go foggy, her body filling with electricity. Her veins filling with heat and love every time they touched or kissed. And if it felt any the same for him she didn't blame him for using their experience in his pages, as long as he wouldn't tell the world about it. Their daughter was bold enough. Oh, and she had a feeling Lanie and the boys all knew too, but that didn't mean she wanted them to actually get it confirmed. They pulled apart when their lungs called out for air, but they kept their foreheads together, noses brushing.

"I promise I'll get better at not telling our kids about our moments," he said, laying a hand on her swelling belly.

"You won't get the chance with this one, I'm not letting him even _touch_ those books," Kate grumbled and he chuckled.

His hand stroked over her belly and they both felt a kick to his hand. Their baby boy letting them know he's right there, and soon ready to meet them.

"I think he disagrees," Castle chuckled and Kate rolled her eyes.

"He can kick all he wants, it's not happening."

Castle pecked her lips once again before he raised and helped her out of the seat. "How about me taking a break and we can go down, spend some time with the girls before Alexis has to go back to the city tomorrow," he suggested and she smiled.

Stepping onto her toes she kissed his lips before pulling him with her out the office. She loved their family. She loved how easily Alexis had accepted her as a mom, how easily Elisabeth had immediately started calling Castle her dad, how easily they had all turned into this immediate family she hadn't thought she could give her daughter. And soon they would have a new member to their family. A new member that would bring a new adventure. Both girls would finally get to be big sisters to a baby boy, and they all looked forward to it. They couldn't wait to meet little Alexander Jim Castle.

* * *

THE END

 _A/N: Thank you all for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing! I really appreciate every little action and I hope you've all enjoyed this journey as much as I have. Next up will be a small story with three chapters called 'Altered Bullet'. Hopefully you'll enjoy that one as well, until then! xxx_


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